Heart First
by SkySmoke
Summary: Clarke Griffin is an international Show Jumping competitor with a less than stellar reputation outside of the show ring. Lexa is a groom for Clarke's biggest rival. The two meet and there is an instant connection that changes both of their lives forever. Or The equestrian AU you never knew you needed until now. Mostly Clexa Fluff. They're just really cute okay.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own The 100 or the characters, just this story

* * *

Clarke Griffin looked hard to the right, opening her right rein and shifting her weight as her horse landed over the fence. He turned neatly to the right, his ears pricked towards the next fence. She felt his pace quicken and she sat deeper in the saddle, taking back the reins a fraction of an inch to slow him.

"Easy."

She murmured; the vertical was easily the tallest fence on the course and it was the last fence of the course headed towards the barn. It had been making everyone knock the top rail and she was determined to go clean.

Her gelding tossed his head but obediently slowed down. She held him until the last possible second, then rose out of the saddle and moved her hands forward next to his neck, giving him freedom to do his thing. She could tell by the screams from the stands that he'd cleared the jump and she pushed him faster for the few strides before the timer, then she circled him to slow him down.

"Our first clear round, Clarke Griffin riding Solar Eclipse."

"Good boy Helios." Clarke cooed as she patted the geldings neck before pumping one first in the air and waving at the crowd, which prompted another round of screams as she rode out of the arena.

"You killed it Griffin!"

Her best friend and groom for the past three years of showing called as she met her outside of the arena. She took ahold of Helios's rein and started walking next to him as Clarke loosened her helmet strap.

"Another win." She beamed up at Clarke.

"Not yet, Ontari still rides. She could go clean. Don't jinx it Reyes."

"I've got him, go watch her ride. I know you want to."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, go."

Clarke swung out of the saddle and patted Helios on the shoulder before walking back to the arena.

Her and Ontari had been showing against one another for years. Ontari used to ride at the stables that the Griffin family owned, but she couldn't stand Clarke's success so she'd gone to a rival barn and they'd been enemies ever since; always close to each other in the rankings. It had gotten even worse after her mother had purchased her own stables.

Clarke leaned on the rail as Ontari piloted her mare over the first jump. The mare cleared it with ease and Ontari set her sights on the next fence.

The way the girl rode always made Clarke cringe; it wasn't that she was a bad rider, she was just so much more heavy handed and aggressive than Clarke had ever been taught to be. The chestnut mare Ontari was riding didn't always tolerate her riding style well, and today was one of those days. She kicked out as Ontari pulled the reins, asking for a sharp turn to the next fence. Ontari corrected her with a sharp tap from her crop, which made the mare pin her ears and flip her head.

"Ugh, no."

Someone muttered as they slid up to the rail next to Clarke, so close that their elbow brushed hers. Clarke turned to see who it was and found herself looking at one of the prettiest girls she'd ever seen.

She was a brunette with a profile that could have landed her a modeling gig with any modeling agency in the country and green eyes; not the green that made you think of spring, grass, or even emeralds but the green that the ocean sometimes turned in a storm. She bit her bottom lip as she watched Ontari ride. Clarke knew she should be watching Ontari but she found it hard to look away from the girl.

She forced her attention back to the arena as Ontari argued with her mare through the triple combination and somehow made it through clean. The mare was clearly irritated, her tail swishing violently and her head held high in the air.

"Come on, lay off of her for a second."

The brunette mumbled; she clearly knew Ontari, the horse, or both which made Clarke wonder who the hell she was and why she'd never seen her before. The world of horse showing wasn't super small, but Clarke had been in it long enough to know pretty much everyone.

She shook her head to clear her thoughts as Ontari and her mare cleared the second to the last jump. All that was left was the last vertical and if she cleared it there would be a jump off between herself and Clarke.

Ontari's mare bucked as she landed after the fence and Ontari spurred her forward, causing the mare to kick out. Clarke held her breathe; if Ontari didn't get the horse collected they'd never make the jump. She straightened the mare but she wouldn't settle and Ontari used her crop on the stride before the jump. Instead of jumping the mare decided she'd had enough and slid to a stop in front of the fence.

"Dammit!" The brunette cursed as she hit the rail with her fist.

"Rough break. Your horse?" Clarke asked.

"You mean rough ride? And no, I'm just her groom." The girl answered without looking at Clarke.

Clarke smirked at the girls comment about Ontari's riding. Ontari had a reputation for being pretty ruthless and not many people spoke badly about her for fear of retaliation. It also made sense why Clarke had never seen the brunette before; Ontari's help didn't tend to stay long.

Clarke turned her attention back to the arena where Ontari had corrected the mare and got her over the fence but the damage was done; Clarke's ride was the only clear round so she was the winner.

Ontari's anger was etched on every line of her face as she rode out of the arena. She dismounted as soon as she was outside of the gate and stormed over to the brunette.

"This is your fault. Had you warmed her up correctly none of that would have happened. You can fix it now. Ride her until she understands that she is to listen, not argue. Do not bring her back to the barn until she is compliant. Is that clear?"

She raged as she practically threw the reins at the girl before storming off.

"Wow. That was uncalled for."

The brunette finally looked up at Clarke and her eyes grew wide with recognition.

"Hey, I'm Clarke."

"Griffin. I know who you are...everyone knows who you are."

"Oh? My reputation precedes me?"

"In more ways than one."

Clarke smiled slowly; she knew she had a reputation on the circuit for being a player, or easy, or both. Neither were true, but she let them circulate anyways.

"Well, you know what they say about rumors."

"That they're carried by haters, spread by fools and accepted by idiots?"

"I usually go with always be careful of what rumors you hear about a woman. Rumors either come from a man that can't have her or a woman that can't compete with her. But I like yours too. I'll have to add it to the rotation."

The corners of the brunette's mouth curled up slightly as she almost smiled.

"And what about the women that can't have you?"

"Oh, I'm sure they have plenty to say too. I gotta go, victory lap and all that, but I'm sure I'll see you around. I didn't catch your name though, I'm sorry."

"That's because I didn't tell you what it was."

The girl winked and turned towards the warm up arena with Ontari's mare. Clarke watched her go, admiring the gentle sway of her hips as she walked.

"Who the hell is she?" Raven asked as she walked up with Helios.

"I don't know. She works for Ontari."

Clarke said as she put her foot in the stirrup and swung back into the saddle.

"Well that's a damn shame, she's hot as hell."

"Yea, tell me about it."

"Ohh, does the impossible to date Clarke Griffin have a crush?"

"Shut it Raven. I only talked to her for like five minutes. She didn't even tell me her name."

"Hard to get. I like her already."

"Oh geez. I'm going to go ride my horse now."

"Yes, you do that. You two deserve that victory lap. Go, I'll stand here and watch your adoring fans cheer for you."

"If I didn't love you so much, I'd kill you."

"I know. Now go on."

Clarke smiled as she gathered the reins and headed back into the arena for the awards presentation and the victory lap. She laughed as Helios arched his neck and snorted loudly, his steps becoming higher and more animated. She swore he knew when they had won. After the ribbons were presented she led the other riders in a few laps around the arena; Helios was so full of himself she could barely hold him to a canter. At the end, she pulled the ribbon from his bridle and tossed it to one of the little girls in the audience. She had been riding and competing for so long she didn't need the ribbons anymore and the look on the kids faces made her smile.

Typically she hated being the center of attention, though she'd gotten used to it. She'd been competing, and winning, internationally since she was sixteen and had become the blonde haired, blue eyed darling of the show jumping world. She was thankful that her fame (if you wanted to call it that) didn't extend beyond the world of horse showing; she didn't understand how actual celebrities did it.

She rode out of the arena and Raven joined her, walking next to Helios as they headed back towards their barn. Raven reaches out and scratched the big geldings shoulder as they walked.

"You guys kicked ass today. That course was tough."

"He's amazing. And so are you. I don't know what we're going to do without you after the Vegas show."

Raven had been her groom and right hand for the past three years of her show career. She'd been at every show, always keeping Clarke and her horses on schedule, warming them up when Clarke couldn't, keeping them on their game between classes, anything Clarke needed Raven was there. She was leaving the show circuit to go back to school.

"You'll do just fine without me. You'll find a replacement."

"No, you're not replaceable Raven. I'll find someone, but not another you. You sure I can't convince you to start showing yourself? You're a damn good rider."

"Nah, not my thing. You're the superstar. I'm just background noise."

"Clarke! Clarke Griffin!"

Clarke groaned as someone called her name. She was so close to being back at the barn where the public wasn't allowed, but she stopped Helios and turned to see who was calling her. It was the father of the little girl she'd tossed her ribbon to.

"Hi, I'm so sorry to bother you but...would you sign this for her? You're her hero, but she's too shy to ask."

Clarke smiled as the little girl hid behind her dad as they walked up. She dismounted and crouched down next to the girl, who looked like she was about eight years old.

"Hey, what's your name?"

"Alycia, but everyone calls me Aly." She answered softly.

"Do you ride Aly?"

"Uh-huh. I take lessons on a pony named Apollo. He's bay, like Helios, but not as red."

"That's awesome. My first pony was bay too. It's probably my favorite color. Do you jump?"

"Yea...kind of...just cross rails."

"Hey, that's how everyone starts. Even me."

"Really?"

"Yep. You keep practicing and I bet someday you'll be beating me out there."

"No way, you're amazing."

"You can be too, just keep at it. So, I hear you have something you wanted me to sign?"

The little girl nodded and handed Clarke the ribbon she'd been clutching behind her back.

Clarke took it and wrote on the back:

Aly, keep chasing your dreams. Clarke Griffin

Before handing it back. The girl smiled shyly.

"Thank you. Can I pet Helios? He's my favorite of your horses."

"Sure you can. He loves attention."

Clarke took the little girls hand and walked up to Helios. Raven smiled and loosened the geldings reins so he could say hello.

He lowered his head and sniffed Aly's outstretched hand before gently bumping her in the stomach with his nose and standing there patiently while she scratched the white stripe that ran up the middle of his face.

"You were such a good boy today. I bet you're going to get lots of carrots and cookies when you get back to your stall."

Clarke smiled at the way the little girl talked to the horse. It reminded her of herself at that age. She looked back at Aly's father who looked a little teary eyed as he snapped pictures.

"Thank you so much for taking your time to do this. I know you're busy and you don't have to, but really...it means so much."

"It's not a problem. She's super sweet, she seems like a good kid."

"She is. Since she lost her mom last year to breast cancer riding has been the only thing that makes her smile. She's been begging to come watch you ride. She came to a show once with her mom and waited in line for almost an hour for you to sign one of those posters they give out sometimes. It's still hanging on her wall."

Clarke's eyes filled with tears and she had to swallow hard to keep them from falling. She couldn't imagine losing her mom now, let alone when she was so young. It had been hard enough losing her dad at 18.

"I'm so sorry..." she whispered and turned to look at Aly who was still happily stroking Helios's face while laughing at something Raven was telling her.

Clarke had an idea and unstrapped her helmet from her head as she crouched down next to Aly.

"You want to ride him?" She offered, holding out her helmet to the little girl.

"Me? Really?"

"You, really."

"Yes! Daddy...can I?"

"If Clarke is sure it's okay."

"She'll be fine. I'll let her sit on him for some pictures and then walk around with her."

Aly already had the helmet on her head and could hardly contain her excitement as Clarke gave her a leg up into the saddle.

"Wow! He's huge!"

Clarke laughed and put the ribbon back on his bridle and stood next to him while Aly's dad took pictures.

"It looks like I won the Grand Prix!" Aly exclaimed.

"It sure does, and I'm sure some day you will. Let's go walk around a little bit, Okay?"

Clarke swung up into the saddle behind Aly and wrapped one arm around the girl. She cued Helios to walk.

"You're steering Aly, so shorten your reins."

The little girl did as instructed and they rode a few figure eights around the arena. Helios was the perfect gentleman Clarke knew he would be and Aly was all smiles when Clarke lifted her off the horse and set her down. She immediately wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist in a tight hug.

"Thank you so much! This has been the best day ever."

Clarke smiled and hugged Aly's dad as they said goodbye.

"You can be such a softy Clarke." Raven teased as they continued back to the barn. Clarke was about to reply when she noticed the brunette from earlier riding Ontari's chestnut mare in one of the jump arenas.

"I'll take Helios. Go see if you can at least get her name."

"Am I that obvious?"

"Yea, pretty much."

"Thanks Raven."

Clarke handed over Helios's reins and headed towards the arena the brunette was riding in. She opted to sit in the grass outside of the ring rather than in the bleachers so she didn't interrupt the girl.

The first thing she noticed was that the girl was a good rider. Her equitation was solid, even more so than Clarke's. Her hands were quiet, her touch light but firm. Ontari's mare was jittery and nervous but the girl remained secure and calm in the saddle, riding through the bucks and kicks without ever harshly correcting the mare, just simply encouraging her to keep moving forward.

After about ten minutes, she had the horse working quietly at the walk, trot and canter. Only then did she point her at a jump. The mare immediately picked up her pace and tried to rush the fence. Again, the brunette brought her back quietly. Clarke was absolutely mesmerized watching her ride; which wasn't easy to do since Clarke had seen so many of the top riders she was hard to impress.

Once the mare had taken a few lower jumps quietly, the girl turned her towards some of the bigger fences. Clarke noticed she had set up the same line as the last two fences in Ontari's class; the vertical the mare had refused.

She pointed the mare at the first part of the line and she took the fence easily, but then started acting up just like she had with Ontari on her way to the vertical. The brunette was unphased and simply encouraged the mare forward. They cleared the fence easily and the girl stopped the horse and patted her neck vigorously in praise.

They did the line three more times and the last two were flawless. The brunette lengthened the reins to the buckle and let the mare walk around with her neck stretched out to cool down.

"Well, I'm glad you weren't riding her today, because I would have lost." Clarke called as the girl rode past her.

"Oh…hey…I didn't know you were watching."

Clarke stood up and moved to the rail, leaning against it and smiling up at the girl.

"I didn't want to disturb you. That was pretty impressive."

"I guess so."

"It was. Seriously. You are a talented rider. She goes for you way better than she does for Ontari. Do you show?"

"Thanks, and no, I don't."

"Why not? With talent like that it's a shame."

"Not all of us have unlimited funding for horses and showing." The girl sounded a combination of hurt and irritated as she circled the mare near the rail, letting her walk to keep cooling her off.

"I'm sorry…you're just really good. Much better than a lot of the riders that are winning. You'd probably be able to find a sponsor pretty easily."

"Says the princess of the show jumping circuit. It's not always that easy."

"I don't mean to offend you, but it seems like that's all I'm doing so maybe I'll just leave you alone. It was a nice ride though, really."

Clarke turned to walk away because clearly she was getting no where with the girl other than upsetting her.

"Wait…I'm sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just a touchy subject I guess."

Clarke stopped and turned to face the girl as she continued.

"Thank you for the compliment. Really. It means a lot coming from you. And I'm sorry I called you princess…I know you hate it."

"The only person who refers to me as that is Ontari."

"I know, like I said, I'm sorry. And my name is Lexa by the way, nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you Lexa, but I really should get going. Last day of the show is tomorrow and its always an early day. See you around."

"Yea, see you."

Lexa watched the blonde as she walked back to her barn. She had seen her interaction with the little girl earlier and wondered if all of the things her cousin had been telling her about the girl were lies. She certainly seemed different than the picture Ontari had painted of her, and she was a damn good rider. Lexa found herself looking forward to the next day already, just in hopes that she'd get to maybe find out a little bit more about the Clarke Griffin that everyone seemed to have an opinion about.

* * *

The next morning Clarke shuffled out of her motor home and towards the snack bar at the horse show grounds. She had black fuzzy pajama pants on over her breeches and tall boots and a navy blue hoodie. Her blonde hair was perched on top of her head in a messy bun. She'd meant to get up earlier and go get real food at a restaurant, but sleep had ended up winning out over food, as it usually did.

As it was, she was one of the first few people in the snack bar area. She got her typical coffee and breakfast burrito and turned towards a table when she almost ran face first into Lexa.

"Shit! I'm sorry. I really should look up while walking." She apologized as some of her coffee splashed on to Lexa's arm.

"It's okay. Their coffee isn't ever hot enough to cause injury anyways." Lexa laughed as she brushed it off her arm.

"Tell me about it, but, caffeine is caffeine. You're here early."

"Yea…Ontari says I need to make sure the mare knows her job today."

"Translation; ride the shit out of her so she's too tired to misbehave?"

"Basically, which also means too tired to win."

"Right." Clarke looked around and realized they were standing in the middle of the snack area and people were having to move around them.

"So…I'm going to go sit and choke this down before I have to get up on my horse. You're welcome to join me if you'd like."

"Uh…sure…just let me order mine." Lexa stammered. She ordered coffee and a bagel and then joined Clarke at her table.

Clarke smiled, surprised that Lexa had taken her up on the offer.

"Good Morning, I typically don't spill coffee on people as a form of greeting, sorry again."

"Good Morning, and it's really no big deal. I've had worse things first thing in the morning."

"Oh?"

"You try waking up to Ontari."

"Ugh, yea, that would be tough. How did you end up working for her anyhow?"

"She's my cousin."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

Lexa's laugh was short but loud; loud enough that several other people turned to look and she covered her mouth with her hand.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to say that outloud….I mean I shouldn't have said it out loud."

"It's fine. She's not my favorite person either."

"So why stay?"

"It's…complicated."

"I can understand that."

Lexa smiled at her and looked almost shy for a second before the look passed, making Clarke wonder if it had been there at all.

"We should probably get going, you especially. You have a mare to ride the shit out of and I should go get on my horse too."

Clarke announced as she stood up from the table and threw her trash away. Lexa followed and they walked towards the door together.

"Agreed. I wish I didn't have to do that to her, you know? If Ontari would just be a little softer with her…"

"Hey, all you can do is what she asks you to do. That's your job, as much as it has to suck to know that different riding would make her go so much better."

"It really does suck, she's such an amazing mare. Ontari is ruining her."

"Well, at least she has one person who rides her the way she deserves to be ridden."

Lexa blushed at the compliment as she followed Clarke out of the door and towards the warm up arena. She could see Ontari walking from the barn towards the arena with the mare, which meant she was late.

"Thanks. I have to run, Ontari is bringing the mare out which means I'm late. Have a good ride today, good luck, and do me a favor?"

"What?"

"Beat Ontari again?" She winked before turning and jogging towards the warmup arena where Ontari was waiting, already irritated. Clarke watched her go with a smile; she hoped the girl stuck around with Ontari for a while because she had the strange desire to want to get to know her better.

* * *

Clarke couldn't stop smiling as they called her and Helios as first place winners in their last class of the day. They had been on fire all day long, easily winning all of their classes. It had been one of Clarke's favorite kind of days; where she felt like the bond between her and her horse was unstoppable. They had been so in sync in the arena it felt like he could read her mind. His performance had been flawless in every round and Clarke was on cloud nine.

She let the group of riders in the victory lap; Ontari was in third place and was only in the victory gallop at all because her mother made her. She typically only rode in it if she won, even though it was considered poor sportsmanship.

Since it was the last night of an eight week long show series, the last class had been the big Grand Prix; the money class. The class everyone talked about. Clarke had won a car and $10,000. A class that big always drew attention, and interviews.

"You two were on fire today. That was amazing" Raven beamed at Clarke as she took Helios's reins.

"He was phenomenal. I still can't believe how good we did today. Can you cool him out? I have to go do some stupid press thing."

"Of course. Go. You deserve it."

"You know how much I hate it."

"I know, but go anyways. I'll see you at the barn."

Clarke planted a kiss on the geldings nose before walking over to the press table. She spent about an hour talking to various reporters for different magazines and horse publications.

A lot of them asked the same questions; how long had she been riding, what got her interested in the sport? How did it feel to be one of the youngest international competitors? Was she aiming towards the next Olympics?

Clarke was exhausted by the time they were done and she walked out of the arena dragging her feet a little. She was almost to the exit gate when she heard slow clapping from the seating section above her. She looked up to see Lexa sitting in the first row smiling.

It was an indoor arena, so all of the seating was situated higher than the arena itself so the spectators were looking down at the horses. Clarke walked over to where Lexa was sitting and looked up at her.

"How long have you been here?"

"The whole time."

"Why?"

"To watch you."

"Ontari was okay with that?" Shouldn't you have to school her mare or something?"

"Her mother was here today; she makes Ontari do those things herself so I found myself with nothing to do. So, I figured why not come watch the enigmatic Clarke Griffin. The girl everyone talks about but no one seems to really know."

Clarke laughed and grabbed ahold of the railing, she used it to pull herself up, then swung her leg over it and joined Lexa in the seats.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what I said. Everyone seems to have something to say about you, but none of them really seem to know you. At least, not from what I've seen, not that I know you…"

Lexa looked down and fidgeted with her fingers. She wasn't sure what made her stay to watch Clarke's interviews or what made her want to get to know the other girl better, but there was something about her that did.

"Do you want to?" Clarke asked, breaking her train of thought.

"What?"

"You said you don't know me, do you want to?"

"Maybe." Lexa shrugged.

"Give me your phone."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

Lexa handed Clarke her phone and Clarke entered her number and took a selfie which she then set as her contact picture before handing the phone back to Lexa.

"There, now you have my number, just in case you want to get to know me."

"Thanks. You had amazing rides today. Helios was a superstar. You guys were unstoppable."

"Helios is always a superstar, I just manage to stay on, but thank you."

"That's not true and you know it. If that were the case, Ontari's mare would do better than she does."

"Touché. I'm just not very good at accepting compliments so I default to humor."

"I can understand that. I don't accept them well either, but instead of humor I think I default to awkward."

"Whatever works for you I guess. Are you guys going to be at the Las Vegas show next week?."

"I believe so, yes."

"Awesome. Are you coming to the awards banquet celebration thing tonight?"

"You have to be invited to those."

"Yea, I'm sure Ontari is."

"Oh, she is, but she won't go. And even if she did, I'm sure she wouldn't take me."

"Well, consider yourself invited. You can come with me….if you want to…"

"Thanks…maybe I will."

"Just text me and let me know. I have to get back to the barn, then to a shower so I don't look like this at the awards dinner. See you around?"

"Yea…see ya."

Lexa watched Clarke as she walked back towards her barn. She looked down at her phone and laughed at the picture Clarke had taken for her contact information. She had her mouth open, her tongue stuck out and she was making a piece sign with her fingers. She had saved her number as "girl who spills coffee." Lexa changed her name to Clarke and took a deep breath before typing a text and hitting send before she could change her mind.

* * *

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading. Comments = Love. Hopefully you guys like it. I'm having fun writing it and actually have quite a bit written, so if there is interest, I can update pretty quickly


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke was almost back to her barn when her phone buzzed in her pocket.

 **Uknown Sender:** So, girl who spills coffee, what time are you picking me up tonight?

A stupid smile spread across Clarke's face as she saved Lexa's number.

"Oh lord, that smile only means one thing Griffin." Raven said as she walked out of the tack room with a bucket of carrots for Helios.

"I gave her my number and invited her to the awards banquet."

"Wouldn't she go with Ontari?"

"She said Ontari won't go and even if she did, she wouldn't invite Lexa."

"Someone has a crush. Clarke, you don't crush on people. What's up with this new development."

"I do not have a crush on her Raven, I barely know her. She's a phenomenal rider, too good to be stuck with Ontari. And she seems nice."

"And..."

"And what? And I thought she should come to the dinner. Almost everyone at the show ends up going."

"And..."

"Oh my god Reyes, and nothing. That's it. No more ands."

"You only call me Reyes when I'm getting to you and I know it."

Clarke rolled her eyes and laughed, smacking Raven on the shoulder as she took the bucket of carrots and headed to Helios's stall. Raven followed, bouncing around beside and in front of her repeating the word and.

"You. Are. Ridiculous."

Clarke laughed as she dodged around Raven and dumped the carrots in Helios's feeder. She turned around and Raven was directly in front of her, inches from her face.

"And..." she whispered.

"Fuck. And she's gorgeous. Okay?"

"Admitting you have a problem is the first step."

"My problem is you."

"I'm offended, and hurt."

"And sarcastic as fuck Raven. But I love you. It's probably why I love you."

"It's definitely why you love me. So, what time are you picking Lexa up for your date?"

"It's not a date. And I don't know. She asked me the same thing and I haven't answered."

"Oooo she already text you? She's in to you too. I mean, everyone is in to you, but that's beside the point. You know Bellamy is going to be at the banquet, right?"

"Ugh. Seriously? He didn't even compete at this show."

"You know how he is, he has to be involved in everything, even when it's not about him."

Bellamy Blake was another rider on the circuit with Clarke. He was a few years older than her, with dark hair and the brooding bad boy look that made girls throw themselves at him.

He had befriended Clarke when she first started making her way up through the rankings and for a few years they were pretty good friends. She looked at him as the older brother she'd never had. Then he started indicating that he felt something more for her. They went on a few casual dates and kissed once, but Clarke just didn't feel anything for him romantically.

When she told him that, he lost it. He called her all kinds of names and started talking about how easy and slutty she was. He was where the rumors about her got their foundation and from then on, they stopped speaking, only politely interacting at social functions and sometimes politeness at those was stretching it.

"Well that's great. Hopefully he'll leave me alone."

"Bellamy doesn't know how to leave you alone Clarke. He's drawn to you like a damn magnet. It still hurts his ego that you turned him down."

"Yea well, he can get over it because it's never happening. I'm going back to the motor home to shower. Are you coming to the banquet tonight?"

"Oh, I'm still invited even though you're taking your new crush?"

"Of course, you are, you ass."

"I'll catch up with you in a little bit."

"Alright."

Clarke pulled her phone out of her pocket and text Lexa back.

 **Clarke** : 7 ok? And where am I picking you up?

 **Lexa:** We're at the Marriott across from the show grounds. I wouldn't normally ask but I don't have a car.

 **Clarke:** I don't mind

 **Lexa:** What should I wear? I've never gone to one of these...

 **Clarke:** Whatever you want is fine. It's at that Italian restaurant down the street. Some people get dressed up really fancy, others come in dressy casual stuff.

 **Lexa:** What are you wearing?

 **Clarke:** A dress, even though I hate them. It's kind of expected of me. But it's a simple dress, nothing outlandish. Seriously, wear whatever.

 **Lexa:** Well, I don't want to make you look bad...

 **Clarke:** Oh hush. I'll see you at 7

 **Lexa:** :)

* * *

Clarke pulled into the parking lot of Lexa's hotel at 650pm. They had agreed to meet in the lobby so Clarke parked in the guest check in line and walked in.

She saw Lexa before Lexa saw her and she was glad because she was pretty sure her mouth fell open for a second.

She was wearing a simple emerald green dress that had tank top style sleeves and hung in a simple skirt about halfway down her thighs. It was shimmery, but not gaudy. The back of the dress was a V cut and ended just below her shoulder blades and her long brown hair fell in soft waves; she was absolutely stunning.

Clarke tugged self-consciously at her dress. It was a navy-blue dress with short sleeves. The top was plain, but from about the waist down it had a black shimmery flame pattern that was so subtle it sometimes wasn't noticeable; it depended on the lighting. It had a V cut neckline, but nothing overly low cut. Her hair was pulled partway back because she hated it hanging in her face.

Lexa turned and saw her and a slow smile spread across her face. She had thought Clarke was attractive the first time they met, but she looked gorgeous in that dress.

"Wow, you look...amazing." She said softly as she walked up and greeted Clarke.

"Please...you look like you walked out of a magazine photo shoot."

"So I look okay? I wasn't sure it was nice enough." Lexa blushed.

"Yes, you look fantastic."

"Thanks, you do too. That color makes your eyes even prettier."

"Shall we?" Clarke gestured to the door. Lexa nodded and followed her out to the car.

"Wow...nice car."

It was a dark silver Cadillac Escalade with black leather interior.

"Thanks...I won it. It's the only one I've kept. I've always been more of a truck girl than anything and it was just so pretty."

"What do you do with the ones you don't keep?"

"Charity. I either sell them back to the dealer and donate the money or just donate the car outright."

"Wow, that's nice of you."

"You sound surprised."

"I mean...kind of. Not a whole lot of people would donate brand new cars to charity. Plus...the way people talk about you..."

Lexa let the sentence trail off into silence, embarrassed that she'd let everyone else's opinions of Clarke form one in her mind before she'd even met the girl herself.

"Yea, I know the way people talk about me."

"Why don't you defend yourself if none of it is true?"

"Why bother? People are going to believe what they want, regardless of what I say. If they want to know for themselves, they'll try to get to know me. If they don't, then they aren't worth my time anyways."

"Fair enough. Hopefully I'm worth your time."

"You're in my car, aren't you? Listen though, people will probably talk about us. About you. I should have mentioned that before. So, if you don't want to go, I understand. I'll take you back and I won't be upset."

"I'm in your car, aren't I?" Lexa quipped and Clarke laughed.

"I'll try to stop most of the rumors, but I can't make promises."

"Let them talk, I don't care. There are worse things in life."

They pulled in to the restaurant and Clarke parked valet and they walked into the host's desk.

"Hello Miss Griffin, right this way to your table."

They were seated at a table for four near the middle of the room. A few people called hello to Clarke as they walked and by the time they sat down Lexa looked nervous.

"What's wrong?" Clarke asked quietly.

"I feel like I'm with some kind of celebrity or something. I don't know any of these people."

"I've been showing with these people for years. I'm not a celebrity. I promise. I can go to the grocery store without a disguise and everything. I'll introduce you to some people if you want."

"It's okay. I'm not really a very social person."

"Why did you come then?"

"You...I mean... because you asked me...invited me I mean." Lexa stumbled over her words and was starting to think maybe coming was a bad idea when Clarke reached over and squeezed her hand.

"Well, I'm glad you came. As soon as it's socially acceptable we'll ditch this place for some ice cream or something... if you want."

"Sounds good."

Clarke smiled at the way Lexa blushed then looked down at her hands. She was about to say something when Raven and her date walked up.

"Hello party people!" Raven said loudly as she hugged Clarke around her shoulders and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. She was wearing a bright red dress that clung to her body, with a plunging neckline and black heels. Her hair was pulled up in a French twist with a few curls framing her face. Her lipstick matched her dress and she looked like some sort of goddess.

"Hey Raven. This is my friend Lexa. Lexa, this is my best friend Raven. Who also happens to be my groom and my right hand, arm, hell, my whole right side at shows."

"Nice to meet you Raven." Lexa said as she held out her hand.

"You too, and Clarke said you were pretty, she didn't say you were drop dead gorgeous."

Lexa blushed a deep red and Clarke smacked Raven on the back of her shoulders.

"Raven. Shut the fuck up. Jesus."

"Sorry Clarke. Lexa, I have no filter."

"Clearly. But thank you..."

"This is my friend Luna. Luna this is Clarke and Lexa."

Luna was dressed in a black floor length dress that had a slit on one side that went up to her mid-thigh. She had a mass of curly hair that looked untamed in a stylish way and deep brown eyes. Clarke had never met her before and would have to remind Raven to tell her where she'd met her.

"So, Clarke, have you seen Bellamy yet?"

Raven asked as they took their seats at the table.

"No. I'm hoping I won't."

"Oh please, he will find you like a heat seeking missile."

"Don't remind me."

"Bellamy Blake?" Lexa asked, sounding somewhat awestruck.

"The one and only." Clarke answered with a roll of her eyes.

"Bellamy and Clarke have a history." Raven explained.

"Oh, I'm sure she's heard Raven, thank you."

"I'd rather hear your version." Lexa replied quietly with a shy look at Clarke.

"Oooh, I like her already." Raven said, wiggling her eyebrows at Clarke suggestively.

"It's nothing really. I mean not anymore anyways. He kind of took me under his wing when I first started winning at the big shows. We hung out a lot. He was a good friend and like a big brother. After a few years he said he wanted more, that he had feelings for me. We went out a few times, I kissed him once, but it just wasn't there for me. I tried telling him that as nicely as I could; I wanted to stay friends. He didn't take it well and called me all kinds of names and then started saying how slutty I was, that we'd been sleeping together for years, just...all kinds of shit. He's pretty much where all of those rumors started."

"Well that was stupid. Weren't you sixteen or something when you started winning the big shows?"

"Yep."

"He's lucky no one accused his dumb ass of statutory rape. You were a minor."

Clarke's mouth fell open and she laughed loud enough for the people at the next table to turn and look. She covered her mouth but kept laughing.

"Where were you when I needed you. I never even thought of that. I mean I wouldn't have done anything because nothing happened, but still."

"It would have been a ton of fun to say and watch his reaction though." Raven added. Lexa just smiled.

"Well, he sounds like an asshole, which is not what everyone says about him."

"Funny how that works isn't it? I mean, you'll meet him for yourself so you can be the judge of that. I'm headed to the bar, want to come?"

"Yea...shit...I forgot my purse at the hotel..."

"Don't worry about it."

"I'll pay you back when you drop me off. I'm so sorry."

"Lexa...don't worry about it. Come get a drink with me."

They walked to the bar and ordered margaritas. As they stood and waited, Clarke pointed out who was who and introduced Lexa to the few people that walked up and said hello. They had just been handed their drinks and we're going to head back to the table when a familiar voice made Clarke cringe.

"Clarke Griffin. It's been a long time. Looking fine as always."

Bellamy announced loudly as he walked up to her. He slipped his arm around her waist and kissed her cheek. She tensed as she put her hand on his shoulder and pushed him away.

"Hello Bellamy."

"How are you? You look good."

"Fine, thanks. If you'll excuse me, we were headed back to our table."

Bellamy noticed Lexa for the first time and Clarke pursed her lips in irritation as he openly looked her up and down before flashing his charming smile at her.

"Well hello, I'm Bellamy. Nice to meet you. Clarke, you should introduce me to your beautiful friend."

"Lexa, this is Bellamy Blake. Bellamy, Lexa."

"Nice to meet you." Lexa offered her hand and Bellamy kissed the back of it.

"What is a pretty thing like you doing with someone like Clarke anyways?"

Clarke was about to respond when she saw anger flash in Lexa's green eyes.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, I'm sure you've heard about Clarke and her...activities. Let me show you around, I can introduce you to all the right people." He said with a wink. Lexa tilted her head slightly.

"If by activities you're referring to all of her riding accomplishments, then yes, I am well aware of Clarke's reputation. It's phenomenal actually, and I find her pretty amazing. I'm also pretty sure I can figure out who the right people are for myself."

"Well at least let me buy you a drink, maybe dance a little."

"Clarke already has the drink covered, and don't take this the wrong way, but you're really not my type."

"Tall, dark and handsome isn't your type?" Bellamy replied smugly. Lexa handed Clarke her drink, which Clarke took without question because she was transfixed by the interaction in front of her. Women usually fell all over Bellamy and she could tell that Lexa's responses so far were flustering him.

Lexa walked up to him, looking incredibly seductive, as she put her hand in the middle of his chest and batted her eyelashes at him.

"You are tall, dark and handsome. But...I'm afraid there's just this one thing that makes you not my type."

"O-oh. What's that?"

"You're male." Lexa said firmly and patted him on the chest once before turning and talking her drink from Clarke. She took Clarke's hand and headed back towards the table. When they were a few feet away she turned back and called out,

"And I really do prefer blondes."

Clarke turned back just long enough to see the look of utter shock and disbelief cross Bellamy's face before Lexa tugged on her arm as she guided her back to their table.

Raven and Luna were gone, out on the dance floor Clarke assumed. Lexa let go of her hand as they sat down and Clarke noticed she was muttering.

"Pretentious, self-serving, egotistical asshole."

"Don't hold back, tell me how you really feel."

Lexa looked up at her, her green eyes stormy with anger. Clarke squeezed her arm.

"Hey. Don't let him get to you. He's not worth it."

"Who the fuck does he think he is? Assuming I'd want to be with him instead of you. Talking about you like that, in front of you..."

"It's okay. I'm used to it."

"It's not okay. I don't care how used to it you are."

"Lexa?"

"What?"

"You were amazing back there... what you said to him... the way you said it. No one ever reacts like that to Bellamy."

"Even if I liked men, and he were the last man on the planet, I'd never want anything to do with him."

"I think you've made that pretty obvious. Seriously though. That was...I can't even begin to tell you how satisfying that was. Thank you for defending me."

Lexa blushed and looked down at the table, her anger finally subsiding and she laughed.

"I might have gotten a little carried away."

"You totally had a hold my beer moment. It was awesome. I feel like I should pay you."

"It actually felt pretty good. God he's an asshole. How was he ever your friend?"

"I don't know...he wasn't like that then. I guess everything changed as he got older and all of a sudden, women wanted him."

"I'm sorry...it must have been hard to lose someone you thought was a friend. Especially to have him start talking about you that way."

"It was, but I got over it. Mostly. I still wish sometimes that he could go back to being the Bellamy I thought I knew, but mostly I just think he's an asshole."

Lexa nodded in agreement as Raven and Luna came back to the table from the dance floor.

"Raven, you missed it. Lexa was epic."

"Aww man, why do I miss the good shit. Fill me in."

Clarke recounted the interaction between Bellamy and Lexa, and Raven listened with her mouth hanging open the whole time.

"Oh my god, you did NOT tell Bellamy Blake that he isn't your type because he's male!"

"Oh, but she did. And it was amazing Raven. The look on his face was priceless."

"It's not like it's a lie..." Lexa laughed.

"Oh it's even better that it's not. Bellamy is used to getting what he wants."

"Well, he can want me all he wants. He can't have me. I also told him I prefer blondes...also not a lie." She smirked and glanced sideways at Clarke.

"Oh my god Griffin, she's a keeper. Can we please keep her?"

"She's not a puppy Raven."

"I know, but no one tells Bellamy off like that. I would have paid to see it."

They all laughed and then the announcement was made that awards would be starting shortly. The food at the buffet was put out and after most people had gotten food they started announcing awards. Clarke was called up several times throughout the course of the night for various high point awards, including the last award of the night for high point of the entire show. She smiled brightly when she looked over at her table and saw Lexa standing up cheering just as enthusiastically as Raven, who always drew a ridiculous amount of attention to herself but Clarke loved it; it made her feel special that her friend cared so much about her success.

She came and sat back down at the table and spoke with a few people who came up to congratulate her. After one of them had walked away she leaned over and whispered in Lexa's ear.

"Want to get out of here?"

"It's your night Clarke, whatever you want to do."

"I want to get McDonald's ice cream and go sit on the swings at a park and just hang out with you."

"That's a very specific request."

"What can I say, I know what I want."

"It sounds fantastic. What are we waiting for?"

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Why is that surprising?"

"Most people wouldn't be excited by the prospect of going and sitting on the swings at a park in the middle of the night."

"I'm not most people."

"I've noticed. Let me go tell Raven I'm leaving. I'll be right back."

Lexa nodded and watched Clarke as she walked away. There was something about the girl that drew Lexa to her. She knew she was in over her head, that Clarke was too good for her, but she couldn't help it. She was sure it wouldn't last long but she was going to enjoy it while it did and try not to get too attached.

Clarke came back a few minutes later and held her hand out. Lexa took it and they walked out to the valet to get the car. Lexa shivered and leaned against Clarke as they waited.

"Cold?" Clarke asked.

"A little bit."

"I have a jacket in the car you can wear."

"You're keeping me warm enough for now."

Clarke smiled and was a little sad when the car was brought around because it meant Lexa was going to be moving away from her.

They drove through the closest McDonalds and got Carmel Sundaes before driving to the park. Clarke gave Lexa one of the jackets that was in her car and they headed towards the swings.

They sat in the middle two swings of the set, Clarke facing one way and Lexa facing the other so they could face one another while they talked.

"So, how did you end up riding for Ontari? I know she's your cousin but..."

"Ontari's mom, Nia, took me in when my parents passed away. I was always in private schools and she also paid for my education. I told her I would pay her back somehow and once Ontari started going through grooms left and right, she decided it was my job since I owed her so much money."

"Can't you get a job somewhere else and pay her back?"

"I don't know. It's...complicated. I don't know that anyone else would hire me."

"Of course they would. In a heartbeat. You are an incredible rider."

Lexa blushed and looked down at her feet as she drug her toes through the sand.

"Thanks...but I can't..."

"You could."

Lexa shook her head no while still staring down at her feet and Clarke felt bad for whatever was holding Lexa back, but she could tell the girl wasn't ready to talk about it.

"We don't have to talk about it, I'm sorry. I'm nosy sometimes."

"It's okay that you asked Clarke, I just...there are other things to talk about."

"Like why McDonalds ice cream is so amazing when the rest of their food is shit?"

Lexa laughed and looked up to find Clarke watching her with her spoon sticking straight out of her mouth, which made Lexa laugh harder.

"You should laugh like that more, it looks good on you." Clarke stated as she pulled the spoon out of her mouth and took another bite of her ice cream.

"Maybe I'll have to start spending more time with you so I have a reason to laugh like that."

Clarke blushed and smiled shyly at Lexa

"I'd be okay with that."

"Did I just make Clarke Griffin blush?"

"Pfft, no."

Lexa arched one eyebrow at her while she took a bite of her ice cream and left the spoon sticking out of her mouth, mocking Clarke from moments before.

"Maybe a little." Clarke laughed.

"Yea, that's what I thought. Seriously though, McDonalds does have some amazing ice cream."

"It's my favorite. Alright, so I've asked about you, now it's your turn."

"My turn? Is it some kind of game?"

"Not really, but I think it's only fair. Keeps the conversation from being one sided. So sure, it can be a game. One question per turn. Go."

"Alright...I've always wondered why your barn is named Arkadia. Everyone always uses their last name or some variation of it."

"Which is so mainstream. It's actually from a story my dad used to tell me as a kid."

"What story?"

"I'm sorry, one question per turn." Clarke grinned.

"Ohh, you suck. Alright fine. Your turn."

"What's your last name?"

"Woods. Why?"

"Choose carefully, is that your question?"

"Ugh! You're impossible. No, that's not my question. What is the story your dad told you?"

"It was some after the end of the world type thing. There was a nuclear disaster, humans went up and were living in space because earth had too much radiation. The space station they lived on was called the Ark. They ended up using it to come back to earth and one of the crash sites ended up being where they set up camp and they referred to it as Arkadia. There's more to the story than that, but that's the short version of the barn name."

"That's actually pretty awesome. Your dad sounds like an interesting guy."

"Yea, he was." Clarke's voice cracked a little and Lexa reached for her hand arm and squeezed it.

"Oh, Clarke, I'm sorry..."

"It's fine. Sometimes it still gets to me...at the most random times too."

"That's normal."

"Thanks."

"Your turn." Lexa grinned as she let go of Clarke's arm.

"Where did you learn to ride?"

"Lessons as a kid, at home and then later at whatever school I was at. My parents ran a breeding farm for a while. I've always ridden, for as long as I can remember. My mom rode too."

"But you never wanted to show?"

"I'm sorry, you've exceeded the question limit for your turn."

"Ugh. Who's dumb idea was this?"

"Hm, yours. Books or tv?"

"Books, totally books. There are a few TV shows I watch, but not many. Why didn't you ever show?"

"I never wanted to as a kid, and then as I got older I knew how much money it cost...and I knew we didn't have it. So I never asked."

Clarke noticed the flicker of sadness in Lexa's eyes and realized, not for the first time, how lucky she was to have the life that she did. One of the things she hated about the world of horse showing was no matter how talented a person was, money was a big factor. There were some riders that got lucky breaks with sponsors or being mentored by a successful rider, but those stories weren't all that common.

"I'm sorry Lexa. Part of you has to kind of hate me..."

"What? No. You're an incredible rider and you worked to get where you are. You're not one of those rich brats who get packed around the arena on a push button school master. I remember your first few shows with Helios."

"Oh god, you've seen those?"

"Hasn't everyone?"

"He was such an asshole. He wouldn't even go over the first fence at his first show. I wanted to murder him because I knew how talented he was."

"That's what I mean though. A lot of people would have given up on him and just moved on to the next expensive warmblood. You're different."

"Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me for the truth."

"No, but maybe for seeing it. Most people think they already know me before they even meet me. The show world is so small, it's hard to find people willing to put their preconceived notions of you aside. So that's what I'm thanking you for."

Lexa blushed and kicked at the sand with her toes again. She was trying to stop herself, but she really liked Clarke; a lot more than she'd expected to.

"You know what I just realized?" Clarke asked.

"Hm?"

"We got all dressed up and went to a fancy dinner and didn't take a single picture. What kind of girls do that?"

"The cool kind? Who says we can't take one now?"

Lexa got up and stood behind Clarke. She leaned down so their faces were next to each other and put her arms around Clarke's neck. Clarke pulled out her phone and switched to the front facing camera.

"Fair warning, I'm horrible at selfies." She said before extending her arm to take the picture.

"Me too. I hate them." Lexa laughed and stuck her tongue out as Clarke took the picture. Every time Clarke took a picture, Lexa made a stupid face. After the tenth picture they were laughing so hard it was pointless to try to take more.

"Okay, come on, one normal one. We can do this."

"Fine. Fine. Okay, go."

Clarke held her phone up again and at the last second Lexa turned and kissed her on the cheek. Clarke blinked a few times in surprise but flipped to the picture.

"That's actually cute. Send it to me?" Lexa said as she looked over Clarke's shoulder at the screen.

"Only if you take a normal one dammit."

"Ugh. You're no fun. Fine."

Clarke laughed as she snapped one more picture with both of them smiling normally.

"See? That came out good. We both look so happy. It's late though, we should head back. We're leaving for Vegas tomorrow."

"I think we are too."

"We should probably head back so we get some kind of sleep."

"Yea, I guess."

Lexa muttered as she absentmindedly pulled back on the chains of Clarke's swing and let her go, causing Clarke to swing gently. There was a sadness in her voice that Clarke hadn't heard before.

"Lexa?"

"Yea?"

"Are you really pushing me on the swings?"

"Maybe a little." Lexa laughed as she put her hands on Clarke's shoulders and pushed harder.

"You ok? You sounded really sad for a second there."

"I'm fine."

Clarke took ahold of the chains on her swing and leaned all the way back so she was looking at Lexa upside down.

"I don't one hundred percent believe you, but that's okay."

"It's kinda hard to take you seriously when you're hanging upside down." Lexa said, unable to wipe the smile off her face.

"Maybe, but I made you smile again, so it's fine."

Lexa shook her head at Clarke and wondered what it was about the girl that made it so easy to be around her. Lexa wasn't typically a people person and didn't really like getting to know new people, but it was different with Clarke; and she liked it.

Clarke dragged her feet, stopped the swing and got up.

"Come on, we really should go."

Lexa nodded and they walked back to the car. The ride back to the hotel was way too short and Lexa laughed as Clarke parked in the check in line and started to get out of the car.

"You don't have to walk me in Clarke. I'm a big girl."

"Maybe I just want an excuse for a little more time with you?"

Lexa looked up, expecting Clarke to be laughing but instead was met by a serious look in her eyes, which made Lexa smile.

"Well, in that case, come on in."

Clarke smiled and had to stop herself from reaching for Lexa's hand on the way in to the lobby. They got inside and Lexa turned to face Clarke.

"Oh, I forgot! I owe you money. Let me run to the room and grab my purse."

"Don't worry about it."

"Clarke, I have the money. You don't need to pay for me..."

"Lexa, it's fine. I asked you out, you shouldn't pay."

"You asked me out huh? So... was this a date then?"

Clarke's eyes grew wide as she realized what her choice of words made it sound like.

"I... sorry...I didn't mean..."

Lexa stepped closer into Clarke's space until there was only a few inches between them and raised one eyebrow.

"Because I wouldn't mind if it was." She whispered. Clarke's heart skipped a beat as she looked up into Lexa's eyes.

"You wouldn't?" She managed to get the words out despite how dry her mouth suddenly was.

"No, not at all." She smirked and Clarke's desire to kiss her was almost overwhelming.

"Well, if that's the case, I suppose this was our first date then."

"First huh? Already planning on asking me out again?"

"I'd be an idiot not to." Clarke replied and the sincerity in her voice made Lexa blush.

"I mean, had I know it was a date I would have planned something a little nicer than McDonalds and the park though."

"Shh, don't even go there. It was perfect."

"Well, you're easy to impress."

"Not really actually. Maybe you're just impressive. Really though Clarke, this was the best night I've had in a really long time. Thank you."

She leaned down and pressed a kiss to Clarke's cheek and stepped back before Clarke could react.

"Goodnight Clarke." She smiled as she turned to walk into the hotel room.

"I'll see you in Vegas" she called over her shoulder.

Clarke just smiled as she watched her walk away. She got back in the car and checked her phone before heading back to the show grounds. There was one message from Raven.

 **Raven:** still out? It must be going well.

 **Clarke** : I'm so screwed Raven.

 **Raven** : oh really?

 **Clarke** : she's...amazing.

She attached the picture of Lexa kissing her on the cheek.

 **Raven** : Yep. You're pretty much fucked Griffin.

 **Clarke** : Ugh. I know. And the worst part is I don't even care. I'll see you in a few. I just dropped her off.

Clarke was about to toss her phone on the passenger seat when another message came through.

 **Lexa** : I meant what I said about tonight. Thank you.

 **Clarke** : are you even back to your room yet?

 **Lexa** : no, elevator, why?

 **Clarke** : miss me already lol

 **Lexa** : If I said yes...would it freak you out?

 **Clarke** : Maybe...but only because I'd say yes if you asked me too.

 **Lexa** : sounds like we're even then. Goodnight Clarke.

 **Clarke** : Goodnight Lexa

Clarke tossed her phone on the passenger seat, leaned her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes for a second. She wasn't able to stop the smile that slowly spread across her face, and if she was being honest, she wasn't sure she wanted to.

She'd given up on dating a long time ago. People involved in the show world either already had some preconceived notion of who she was or ended up only wanting to be around her in hopes of bettering their own career. People outside of the show world didn't understand how much of her life showing consumed and ultimately tried to make her choose between her career and her relationship and they always lost.

Lexa seemed too good to be true and Clarke was trying to tell herself to back off, but there was something about Lexa that drew her in. She was different than anyone else she'd ever been interested in, or at least she seemed like she was so far. Clarke just hoped she wasn't wrong.

* * *

Lexa was still smiling when she walked in the door of her hotel room and pulled it quietly shut behind her.

"Where were you?" Ontari asked from the couch across the room, her voice cold and accusatory.

"Out." Lexa answered briefly. She couldn't stand Ontari, but she had been told many times by her aunt Nia, Ontari's mother, that Ontari was her boss.

"With who?"

"A friend."

"You don't have any friends. Who would want to be friends with you anyways?"

Lexa bit her bottom lip as the anger and self-doubt she always felt when Ontari spoke to her started creeping in to the back of her mind.

"Maybe you've just never met them."

"No, it's because you don't have any. It doesn't matter if you tell me or not, I'll find out where you were and my mother will hear about it. We're leaving tomorrow. You have to pack the tack room and ready the horses. You shouldn't have been out so late."

"It will get done."

"It better. We plan to haul out at nine and if we're late because of you, you'll regret it."

"I'll get it done." Lexa answered through gritted teeth as she headed towards her bedroom.

She flopped on her bed and glanced at her phone. If she got up at four she should have enough time. She set her alarm and set her phone on the nightstand. She tried to hold back the tears but it was no use so she just let them come. She hated the way she was treated by her aunt and her cousin but she had no other options.

Her phone buzzed against the table and she picked it up quickly hoping her cousin hadn't heard.

 **Clarke** : forgot to send you pics. Hope I didn't wake you up.

She had attached all of the selfies they had taken. Lexa saved them all and smiled; it had been nice being with Clarke and forgetting everything for a little while.

 **Lexa** : thanks. You didn't. Still awake but off to bed now. Super early morning, Ugh.

She set her phone back on the nightstand on silent and drifted off to sleep with a smile for the first time in a long time.

* * *

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading and for the few of you who reviewed. I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Seriously, taking time to leave a review makes my writer heart happy. Unless its just "keep going" because that isn't a review as much as it is a request.


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke walked up cautiously to the Azgeda tack room the next morning around six am. She had coffee and donuts in hand but made sure no one else was around before walking up and leaning one hip on the door. Lexa was busy packing tack trunks and hadn't heard her walk up.

"Good Morning, I thought you might want coffee. You know, actual coffee, not that luke warm shit I like to spill on you here."

Lexa spun around, startled by the sound of Clarke's voice. She looked panicked and had tears running down her face. Clarke set the food down and crossed the room to Lexa.

"Hey, what's wrong?" She asked softly.

"I...my alarm. I over slept. And I can't...there is so much to do and I'm going to make them late. Ontari will tell Nia and she'll be pissed and I can't..."

"Hey...shhhhh...Lexa. Stop. Breathe."

The more Lexa spoke the more upset she became and she was starting to hyperventilate. Clarke put her hands on Lexa's hips and pulled her close and realized she was shaking.

"Deep breaths. God, why are you so upset. It's ok. It's just packing."

"No...Ontari was pissed that I went out last night. She said if I made us late this morning she would tell her mom. Nia hates when I cause problems. I can't loose my job Clarke..."

"No one is losing their job. I'll help you."

"No, you can't. They hate you. They'd be so mad if they caught you here."

"They won't catch me here. Oh my god, please stop crying. How do I make you stop crying."

Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa's waist and pulled her into a hug. Lexa went willingly, burrowing her face into Clarke's neck. Clarke ran one hand up and down Lexa's back and used the other to pull her phone out of her pocket and text Raven.

 **Clarke** : Hey. Can you come to the Azgeda barn please. Lexa is freaking out. She has to pack everything herself and they have her on some kind of timeframe. She's sobbing and afraid she's going to lose her job. Help?

 **Raven** : god I hate those bitches. On my way.

Clarke smiled and then dialed the phone number of the security guard at the front gate.

"Frankie! My favorite security guard. I have a favor to ask. If Nia or Ontari Azgeda show up, stall them for a minute and let me know. Their groom needs help packing and she'll get in trouble if they know she had help. I just need a heads up that they're here so I can get out of here. Perfect. Thank you Frankie. Let me know what I owe you."

Clarke hung up the phone to find Lexa staring at her. Her tears had almost stopped but her breathing was still ragged and she still looked panicked.

"See? Raven is on the way to help too. I'll have a heads up to get out of here before Nia or Ontari ever see me. We'll get it done."

"W-why are you helping me?" Lexa stuttered as she tried to get her breathing under control.

"Because...If you haven't figured it out from last night, I kinda like you. And besides, no one deserves to be treated like this."

"Just kinda?" Lexa smirked as her tears slowed to a stop. Clarke smiled.

"Yea...maybe a little."

"Good, because I kinda like you a little too."

"Then let me help you. Sit. Eat the donut. I know you haven't eaten. I'll start wrapping bridles and when Raven gets here we'll start packing."

"I'm not sitting and eating while you do my work."

"You are. It's not a five course meal, it's a donut." Clarke walked forward, her hands on Lexa's hips pushing her back until they got to one of the tack trunks.

"You're going to pin me to the tack trunk and make me eat?"

"Yes."

"Ugh. Fine."

Lexa sat and Clarke handed her the bag with the donuts and smiled. Lexa was already starting to look less panicked.

Raven walked in the door a few minutes later and took a donut out of the bag.

"Alright, lets get this shit handled."

A few hours later, right around eight, they had all of the tack rooms packed as well as the tack trunks. Tail bags had been out on all of the horses and their trailer wraps were outside their stalls ready to go.

"Alright, we're all good. I'm gonna take off and find Luna, see if she has time to grab breakfast."

"Raven...thank you so much. There is no way I would have gotten this done without you guys." Lexa said as Raven headed for the door. Clarke was outside stacking the extra shavings to be packed.

"No problem. Just do me a favor? Be good to Clarke. She's tough, but she's got a soft side too. And her feelings run deep. She's special. Just...be careful with her."

"I already know she's special."

"Good, then you're a step ahead of everyone else."

"You're a good friend Raven."

"I know, I'm awesome like that."

Lexa laughed as Raven sauntered out the door. A few minutes later Clarke came back in.

"Everything but trailer wrapping the horses is done. But if you do that now the wraps will slip."

"You're...incredible. Thank you so much. I don't know how to repay you..."

"I can think of something." Clarke said quietly as she crossed the room. Lexa met her half way and put her hands on Clarke's waist.

"Oh really, and what's that."

"Say yes when I ask you on a second date in Vegas."

"Like I was really gonna say no?"

Clarke laughed and pushed a piece of Lexa's hair behind her ear. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's shoulders and pulled her in to a tight hug.

"Thank you Clarke." She whispered into Clarke's neck before kissing it softly. Clarke's fingers dug in to Lexa's hips and then huffed as her phone rang.

"Frankie? Awesome. You're the best. Thanks. Bye."

Lexa "leaned back and looked at Clarke, her eyes sad.

"They're here?"

"Yea. I gotta go."

"I know."

"That means you have to let go."

"I know."

Lexa pressed herself close to Clarke again and Clarke wrapped both arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I'll see you in Vegas." She whispered. Lexa nodded and stepped back, reluctantly letting go of Clarke so she could leave.

"Thank you again."

"No problem. I'd love to see Ontari's face when she realizes you got it done."

"She'll be livid. She lives to make me miserable. But you should go. She'll be here soon.

Clarke waved goodbye and jogged down the barn aisle to make sure she was nowhere near the Azgeda set up when Ontari and Nia arrived.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

 **Lexa** : Seriously Clarke. I can't thank you enough. No one has ever done anything like that for me before

 **Clarke** : no one? You need new people

 **Lexa** : well, hopefully I've found one

 **Clarke** : Maybe...

Clarke shoved her phone back in her pocket and headed for her barn to get everything packed for Vegas. She had been excited about the show before; showing in Vegas was always fun, but knowing she got to see Lexa made it even more exciting.

Clarke flopped down on a bag of shavings and leaned back against the stall wall. Raven joined her and leaned on her shoulder.

"God it's been a long day." Raven sighed.

"It has, but we're here and the show isn't for almost a week so we have plenty of time to relax."

"True. And you only have three horses, so that's easier."

"Yea, there is that five year old I want to look at though."

"The black mare that rears and flips sometimes?"

"That would be her. You know I have a thing for the crazies. It's why I love you."

"Hmm. You'll have to look hard for a level of crazy to replace me."

"I already told, you can't be replaced."

"Have you heard from Lexa since this morning? Is she okay?"

"She text me a few times but she's with Ontari and Nia so I think she stays off her phone."

"Are you going to see her tonight?"

"I don't know. If she asks."

"You could ask her."

"I don't want to seem clingy."

"I don't think she'd mind."

"I don't know Raven, I really like her, which freaks me out."

"She seems just as in to you as you are to her. Just go with it Clarke. Don't over think it."

"I over think everything Raven."

"I know...but maybe this time you should just let it happen. You said it's been really comfortable so far right?"

"Weirdly so, you know how I am."

"So take that as a sign? For once Clarke, just go with it."

"Yea Maybe..."

"Do I have to take your phone and text her for you? You've been checking the damn thing all day. Just text her."

"I have not...ok maybe...she just seemed so...broken this morning. She was shaking. I can't imagine how Ontari and Nia treat her for her to act that way. I mean, I know they are nasty people but god."

"I know, I felt so bad for her. So text her...I'm going to head to my room and probably crash. But you have a gorgeous girl you should take to dinner."

"Hm, and you don't?"

"Luna won't be here until tomorrow, but nice try."

Raven patted Clarke's knee as she got up and headed towards her hotel room. Clarke sat around for a few minutes and then huffed as she pulled her phone out of her pocket and text Lexa.

 **Clarke** : Hey, how is it going? Are you guys unpacked and settled in?

 **Lexa** : almost. Ontari and Nia just left, I'm throwing hay to the horses and then I'm done.

 **Clarke** : dinner?

 **Lexa:** I'd love to, but I just ate not that long ago

 **Clarke** : it's okay, it was last minute anyways

 **Lexa** : I want to see you though...

Clarke immediately felt butterflies in her stomach and couldn't stop herself from smiling. Dammit if the girl wasn't under her skin too much already.

 **Clarke** : miss me? ;)

 **Lexa** : Maybe

 **Clarke** : ice cream?

 **Lexa** : perfect. I just locked the tack room. I'll come to your barn?

 **Clarke** : Okay, see you soon

Clarke got up off the shavings and locked her tack room. She checked on her horses and gave them each a few treats after double checking their stall doors were secured. She turned around as Lexa was walking up.

"Hey." She called out with a smile. To her surprise, Lexa walked up and pulled her into a hug, her head resting against Clarke's shoulder as she sighed.

"Hey." She said softly in Clarke's ear. Clarke hesitated, then wrapped her arms around Lexa's waist, retuning the hug.

"You okay?"

Lexa stepped back out of the hug and looked down at her feet.

"Yea, sorry, was that too much?"

"No, not at all. I just...wasn't expecting it and you had a rough morning. I just wondered..."

"I'm fine, just happy to see you."

Clarke blushed.

"I'm happy to see you too. Shall we?"

"Yep, lead the way. I've never been here so I don't know where we're going."

"You've never been to Vegas?"

"Nope."

"Oh, then we're going to the Venetian. I was just going to grab random ice cream somewhere but the Venetian has the most amazing gelato place... unless you want to just stay here?"

"Honestly Clarke? I just wanted to see you...we can go wherever you want."

"The Venetian it is then."

They walked out to the front of their hotel and got in a cab.

"So, are you busy tomorrow?" Clarke asked as they headed towards the Venetian.

"Not once I'm done working the horses and all that stuff, so tomorrow night is free. Why?"

"Will you go out with me?"

"Are you asking me on a second date?"

"Yes."

"Of course."

"Great, I can start planning then. I promise it will be more impressive than our first date."

"Clarke...you don't need to impress me."

"Maybe I want to?"

Lexa looked down at her lap and blushed. She'd never had anyone treat her the way Clarke did; like they actually cared about her. She'd had plenty of people be attracted to her for her looks, but once they figured out she wasn't easy to get in to bed they usually disappeared. Clarke was different; she looked at her like she was an actual person and treated her that way as well.

Clarke reached across the seat and put her hand over Lexa's, lacing their fingers together.

"What do you think about when you get all quiet like that?"

"Nothing really...just that...god it sounds stupid."

"Try me."

"Just that I'm happy I met you. No one has ever treated me the way you do. You're different."

"Why does that sound stupid?"

"I don't know, because we hardly know each other? But it's just..."

"Easy?"

"Yes..."

"I know."

Clarke squeezed her hand as the cab pulled up to the Venetian. Clarke paid the driver and they got out of the cab.

"I can't wait for you to see this place. It's my favorite. Well, this and the Paris. But if I had to pick one it would probably be this one."

They walked in the front doors of the hotel and Lexa gazed around in amazement. The ceilings were so high it made a person feel small and almost insignificant. The stone looking arches and ornate gold fountain had the same effect. Clarke smiled as Lexa looked at everything wide eyed. They got past the fountain and Clarke nudged her with her elbow.

"Look up."

Lexa looked up and stopped short.

"Oh wow..."

She stood and stared for a while then turned to fine Clarke watching her, grinning.

"Amazing isn't it?"

"I don't even feel like I'm in Vegas anymore. It's...incredible."

The ceiling of the lobby was painted as a replica of the walkway in the Sistine Chapel and the attention to detail was breathtaking. Lexa turned in a slow circle and just took everything in.

"I can see why this is your favorite."

"Oh, this isn't why. I mean this is impressive, but it's not my favorite part. That's upstairs. Do you want to see it before we have ice cream?"

"If it's more amazing than this, yes."

"I think it is."

"Lead the way."

They wound their way across the casino floor and Lexa stopped at a giant slot machine. It was rainbow unicorn themed and had a screen that almost reached the ceiling.

"This one is so pretty."

"Do you want to play?" Clarke asked, smiling at her almost childlike wonder.

"No, I shouldn't waste the money gambling."

Clarke reached in her pocket and put a fifty dollar bill in the machine.

"Play."

"Clarke! No, you play. It's your money."

"I hate gambling. You play."

"If you hate gambling why did you put money in a slot machine."

"Because you're staring at it like a five year old on Christmas and you're really cute. Same effect as puppy dog eyes I guess?"

"Clarke...I can't just..."

"Play the damn machine Lexa."

Lexa huffed but sat down at the machine.

"I don't know what I'm doing, why are there so many buttons?"

"Just hit max bet and then spin."

Lexa did and then laughed as the screen lit up rainbow colors and different unicorns and horses flashed across the screen as the reels rolled to a stop.

"Oh my god that's cool! How do you know if you won?"

"It tells you." Clarke answered, not bothering to keep the smile off her face as Lexa excitedly pushed the button again. They played for about thirty minutes, in which time Lexa hit a bonus that sent a rainbow shooting across the screen that you had to guide a unicorn across by picking colors. They ended up cashing out twenty dollars.

"I can pay you back." Lexa whined as they walked away from the machine.

"Lexa, did you have fun?"

"Yes, but..."

"No, no but. If you had fun that's all I care about."

Lexa opened her mouth to argue again and Clarke glared at her so she changed her mind.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"Much better, you're welcome. Now, can we make it upstairs without you being distracted by something shiny?"

"It wasn't just shiny, it was unicorns."

"Of course. Come on you dork."

They made their way to the escalators and up to the second floor. After walking past a few shops they turned the corner onto the main part of the floor and Clarke watched as Lexa stopped and just stared.

The 2nd floor was built to look like st marks square and no detail had been left out. The shop faces were made to look like you had walked in to Venice. The streets were cobblestone, the ceiling was painted to look like the sky and there were even canals with gondolas.

"Clarke...it's gorgeous..."

"I thought you'd like it."

"I can't believe I'm inside a hotel. It certainly doesn't feel like it."

"No, it doesn't. It's one of my favorite things about it. Come on, let's walk around."

They walked over to the edge of the canal and Lexa leaned against the rail and watched the gondolas go by. Clarke stood beside her but a few feet back and pulled out her phone and snapped a picture.

As Clarke was putting her phone back in her pocket a dark haired woman walked up and leaned on the railing next to Lexa. She was gorgeous; tall and slim with olive colored skin and light brown eyes. Clarke felt stupid when she was instantly jealous but decided to stay back rather than be possessive.

"Hey." The girl said, smiling brightly at Lexa.

"Hi." She answered, briefly smiling at her then looking back at the gondolas.

"This might seem forward, but I couldn't help but notice you. I was wondering if I could buy you a drink or a coffee somewhere?"

Clarke cocked her head as Lexa blushed and looked down at the water. The girl took this as a positive sign and scooted closer to Lexa, their shoulders touching.

"Is that a yes, I hope?"

Lexa pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and moved away from the other girl as she slowly shook her head no.

"Sorry, but no thank you, I'm here with someone." Lexa seemed to realize Clarke wasn't close to her and looked around. Clarke smiled when their eyes met and walked up behind Lexa, wrapping her arms around her waist. Lexa smiled and leaned into her embrace. The dark haired girl looked Clarke up and down

"Well, aren't you lucky."

"Hm, I know right?"

The girl rolled her eyes and walked away. Lexa laughed softly.

"You're so bad." She whispered at Clarke.

"You could have said yes ya know. If you wanted to?"

"Why would I want to?"

"Did you see her? She's gorgeous."

Lexa turned in Clarke's arms so she was facing her.

"You're gorgeous. Besides, I prefer blondes, remember?"

"Right. I'm just saying...I don't want you to feel like I...that we...If you wanted to go out with someone else..."

"I don't. Not even a little bit."

Clarke searched Lexa's green eyes for some sort of sign that she wasn't telling the truth, but she couldn't one. Lexa slowly smiled at her as she realized what Clarke was doing.

"Is it so hard for you to believe that I like you?"

"A little bit, yea. Most people don't get much past the rumors and reputation. I'm just...waiting for the other shoe to fall I guess?"

Lexa shook her head slowly and placed a quick kiss on Clarke's cheek before pulling away.

"Come on. Show me the rest of this amazingness and then feed me ice cream."

"Sounds like a plan."

They walked around the second floor of the hotel, going in a few shops but mostly just walking and keeping up an easy stream of random chatter about whatever crossed their minds. More than a few people would check Lexa out as they walked, which irritated Clarke even though she tried not to think about it. Lexa noticed and moved closer to Clarke, she wrapped her arm around Clarke's waist and hooked her finger through her belt loop as they walked.

"Better? Let them look. I'm here with you."

"You really shouldn't indulge my jealous side."

"Maybe not, but I kinda like it."

"You do?"

"Mhmm, it's cute."

Clarke laughed but couldn't deny the fact that she liked having Lexa so close. They finished their walk around the second floor and headed back downstairs for gelato.

"I can't pick. They all look good. And don't you dare tell me to get one of each." Lexa said as they stood in line to order. Clarke smirked.

"My favorites are pistachio and blackberry, but honestly everything is good."

"Get one of each then and we'll share."

Clarke ordered and they found a table. The only open one was half table half booth and people had taken all of the chairs so they both sat on the same side of the booth.

"Oh my god this is so good." Lexa exclaimed as she tried a bite of the blackberry.

"Right? It's perfect."

"Mhmm, let me try that one too." She reached for the pistachio with her spoon and Clarke slid the bowl away.

"Hey! We were supposed to share."

"I know, but I like this one a lot."

"That's not fair!" Lexa whined as she scooted closer to Clarke, still reaching for the pistachio. Clarke laughed as Lexa continued to move closer until she was pressed against Clarke's side. Clarke grinned as she wrapped her arm around Lexa's waist and let her have the ice cream.

"Ha!...wait...did you just do that to get me closer?"

"Maybe."

"All you have to do is ask Clarke." She said softly as she turned and kissed Clarke's neck before turning her attention back to the ice cream.

Her lips had been cold, and Clarke shivered, goosebumps covered her arms. Lexa pressed closer into her side and smiled.

They finished their ice cream and Lexa shifted so she could put her arm around Clarke's waist. She leaned into Clarke's shoulder and sighed.

"What's wrong?"

"I just don't want to go back. I hate being around Ontari and Nia."

"Come stay with me. My room has two beds, and a living room area."

"I can't...they expect me back and I'll pay for it if I'm not there."

"They treat you like shit."

"I know..."

"You need to-"

"Clarke? Can we please not talk about it. I just want to forget all of it when I'm with you, ok?"

"Of course."

Clarke ran her hand up and down Lexa's arm before letting it rest on her side, just above her hip.

Lexa smiled; she knew she was falling for Clarke way too fast but she didn't care. Being with Clarke made her forget about everything else in her world for a while, and the way Clarke looked at her sometimes gave her the chills, in a good way.

"Any requests for our date tomorrow? Something you want to see?" Clarke asked quietly.

"No. I'm sure whatever you plan will be fine. Just...please nothing super expensive or extravagant. You don't need to do anything to impress me; you already impress me."

"So the private helicopter tour of the city is out then?"

"Clarke! Don't you dare!" Lexa sat up looked at Clarke to find her blue eyes dancing with laughter.

"I wasn't, I just wanted to mess with you."

Lexa stuck her bottom lip out and pouted and all Clarke wanted to do was kiss her.

"Oh, put your lip back. It's not my fault you're an easy target."

Lexa raised one eyebrow and leaned forward, her mouth inches from Clarke's ear.

"I'm not the only one who is an easy target, Clarke."

She whispered before kissing Clarke's neck; her tongue barely swirling across Clarke's skin as she left a trail of kisses down the side of her neck.

Clarke's breath caught in her throat for a second before coming out as a low moan.

"Fuck Lexa..."

Lexa smiled into Clarke's neck before kissing her way back up and flicking her tongue along the skin by her earlobe before pulling away.

"Who's the easy target now?"

"Oh, I will so get you back for that."

The look in Clarke's eyes sent a shiver down Lexa's back.

"Is that a promise or a threat?"

"Both."

"Don't make promises you can't keep."

"Oh, I'll keep it. Don't worry about that."

"Hm, I'm looking forward to it."

Clarke smiled and pulled Lexa back against her side because if she didn't she was going to wrap her hands in her hair and kiss her until she couldn't breathe.

"We should probably head back to the hotel. The horses need to work tomorrow and that always means an early morning."

"Ugh; I know. Nia likes them fed a few hours before they work so I have to be down at the barn at dawn."

"I'll bring you coffee."

"Clarke...you don't need to do that."

"I know, maybe I want to."

Lexa shifted against her side and fidgeted with her hands.

"What's the matter? It's just coffee Lexa."

"I just...Nia and Ontari don't like you."

"Believe me, I know."

"I know they'd be pissed if you were at their barn. I don't want her saying anything to you or-"

"It's nothing new. Besides, you said you feed hours before they work. Neither of them will be there anyhow."

"No, but people talk."

"Let them."

"Clarke...I just..."

"Okay. If it makes you that uncomfortable I won't."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry that they are assholes. I'm just glad it doesn't run in the family."

"I can stop by your barn in the morning before I feed."

"You don't have to. The point was for me to bring you coffee, not make your morning longer by coming to my barn first."

"I know..."

"Don't worry about it, I'm not upset.

"Okay."

"Besides, I'll have you all to myself tomorrow night."

"Yes, you will."

"As much as I don't want to, let's get headed back to our hotel."

Lexa nodded and they got up and walked out to the front of the Venetian to get a cab.

Lexa kept her arm around Clarke's waist as they walked and sat curled against her side on the cab ride back to their hotel.

When they got out of the cab Clarke was surprised to see tears welling in Lexa's eyes.

"Hey...whats wrong?"

"Nothing...I'm fine...sorry." Lexa shook her head to clear her tears.

"You're not fine...where is this coming from?"

Lexa sighed. She couldn't find the words to explain to Clarke how hard it was to leave her and go back to her real life where she was treated like she was less than human. At least not without sounding overly clingy or needy. She barely knew Clarke, but it didn't feel that way and she didn't want to mess things up.

"I'm okay Clarke."

Clarke cocked her head at Lexa, her blue eyes clouded with concern and another emotion Lexa couldn't quite place.

"You're not, but if you're not ready to tell me why, that's okay. I can wait."

Lexa bit her lip as a new wave of tears threatened to come spilling out.

"Shit, don't cry. That wasn't supposed to make you cry."

Lexa laughed and wiped the tears out of her eyes.

"It's ok, those weren't bad tears."

She stepped closer to Clarke and reached for her waist but Clarke stepped back.

"Everyone from the show stays here. If you don't want people seeing us..."

"We aren't at the barn, it's late, and fuck it."

Lexa grabbed Clarke's hips and pulled her into a hug. Clarke laughed and wrapped her arms around Lexa's shoulders.

"Good night Lexa."

"Good night Clarke. Thank you...for everything."

"I'll text you tomorrow and we can figure out what time you'll be done for the night."

Lexa nodded and sighed as she pulled away from Clarke's embrace and headed into the hotel. She didn't look back, because she knew if she did she would just run back into Clarke's arms.

Clarke watched her go and shook her head softly; she wasn't sure what was going on with Lexa. What she did know was that she was totally falling for the other girl; way to hard and way to fast but for the first time in her life she didn't care.

The next morning Clarke had just finished feeding her horses and was standing in her tack room getting ready to clean bridles when arms wrapped around her waist from behind and a newly familiar weight settled against her back.

"Good Morning."

Lexa's voice was husky in her ear and Clarke smiled brightly as she leaned into her embrace and Lexa rested her chin on her shoulder.

"Good morning yourself. What brings you here?"

Lexa let go of Clarke's waist and Clarke turned around to find Lexa smiling at her shyly. Clarke put her hands on Lexa's hips and pulled her closer. She kissed her forehead briefly before pulling her back into a hug.

"I just wanted to be here for a minute before I started my day."

"Here as in my barn?"

"No. Here as in right here." Lexa emphasized her point by pressing herself closer to Clarke and snuggling her face into her neck. "I like it here."

Clarke sighed; the girl was going to melt her heart and she didn't even care anymore.

"Yea...I like you here too."

"You do?"

"Of course I do."

"Good."

"You should go feed though, I don't want you getting in trouble because of me."

Lexa whined in protest when Clarke tried to let go of her.

"Lexa..."

"I know, I know. I brought you coffee, and one for Raven too. I'll see you later."

She stepped back and kissed Clarke's cheek softly before turning to walk out of the tack room. Raven came walking in as Lexa was walking out.

"Hey Lexa. What brings you here before dawn?"

"Good Morning. Just dropping off coffee. I'll see you guys later."

Raven watched her walk out then turned to Clarke and smiled.

"Well? How screwed are you?"

"I'm beyond screwed Rae, I'm totally fucked. She brought you coffee too."

"Really? Sucking up to the best friend already? Impressive."

"Nah, she's just like that."

"Did she really come just to bring coffee?"

"Yes and no. I offered to bring her coffee this morning but she doesn't want to piss off Nia and Ontari by having me at their barn."

"So she brought you coffee instead."

"Yea..."

"I feel like there is an and in there."

"She just wanted to see me."

"She said that?"

"Not exactly..."

"Clarke. Spit it out."

"I asked her why she came and she said she just wanted to be here. I asked if here meant my barn, but she didn't. She meant in my arms."

"I'm sorry what?"

"We were hugging at the time. She said he liked being here, and pressed even closer."

"What did you say?"

"That I liked her there too..."

"Damn Clarke..."

"I know Raven."

"Have you kissed her yet?"

"No, but she kissed my neck last night and I swear to god I wanted her so bad..."

"What are you waiting for?"

"The right moment."

"The right moment? Clarke Griffin have you gone hopeless romantic on me?"

"No...I mean maybe a little...she's just so different. I don't want to screw this one up."

"We'll you're doing something right if she's already saying she just wants to be in your arms."

"She's so miserable with Ontari and Nia...I wish she'd get away from them."

"You can't control that. She'll have to want to leave."

"She says she can't, but she doesn't want to talk about it so I don't push it. I just hate how much it upsets her."

"Are you guys going out tonight?"

"Yes."

"Good. You deserve to be happy with someone Clarke. So far it seems like she makes you happy."

"She does, and I feel so ridiculous for liking her so much but I do."

"Then just let it happen. Come on, let's get the horses worked before the arenas get crazy."

Clarke nodded and they headed off to get the horses tacked up

Authors Note: Reviews = love


	4. Chapter 4

Later that evening Clarke was sitting on the bed in her hotel room reading when her phone buzzed on the nightstand.

 **Lexa** : Finally done, please come save me

 **Clarke** : You ready?

 **Lexa** : that depends, what should I wear.

 **Clarke** : whatever you want. Doesn't need to be fancy

 **Lexa** : Okay. Meet you in the lobby in 15

 **Clarke** : bring a jacket

Fifteen minutes later Clarke walked down to the lobby. Lexa saw her and walked towards her smiling brightly.

She had on dark jeans and a white tank top. Her hair was mostly down, part of it was pulled back from her face in a loose ponytail. She had put on a little bit of makeup, mostly a smoky look around her eyes which make them look even greener than normal.

Lexa stopped in front of Clarke, saying back because the lobby was full of people from the barns.

"God you're gorgeous." Clarke whispered as Lexa stopped in front of her.

"Dammit Clarke." Lexa huffed as she closed the distance between them and wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist.

"Lexa...there are people from the barn here..."

"Let them look. Like I was going to stay away from you after that?"

"It's just the truth."

"Well you aren't exactly hard to look at either."

Lexa whispered as she pulled away and let her gaze wander slowly down Clarke's body.

She had on black jeans, a skin-tight sky blue shirt and a black leather jacket. Both the jeans and the shirt showed off her curves and Lexa smiled in approval.

"Shall we?" Clarke gestured towards the front doors.

The got a cab and as soon as they were in the back Lexa wrapped herself around Clarke, burying her face in Clarke's neck.

"Today was shit. I missed you." She murmured against Clarke's skin.

"Why was it shit?"

"Ontari's mare is off and somehow it's my fault. It's all I heard about all day."

"Well, it's not your fault."

"Everything is my fault in their world."

"That's just not right."

"I know. But one rule tonight, we don't talk about them. I just want to forget it for a while."

"I think I can handle that rule."

"Hmm, good."

Lexa draped her arm across Clarke's stomach and lightly traced patterns with her fingers.

"We're going to dinner at the Monte Carlo first."

"Sounds good."

Clarke ran her fingers through Lexa's hair and over her shoulder because it seemed like she didn't want to talk much; she just wanted to be comforted.

Lexa sighed as she felt the stress of the day start to finally disappear. Part of her felt ridiculous being so clingy with Clarke, but the blonde didn't seem to mind.

They pulled up at the Monte Carlo and Lexa huffed at the fact that she had to let go of Clarke to get out of the cab. Clarke laughed when Lexa immediately wrapped her arm around Clarke's waist once she was out of the car. Lexa tensed, then pulled away.

"Sorry...I'm being super clingy, it's probably too much..."

"Get your ass over here." Clarke laughed as she hooked a finger through Lexa's belt loop and pulled her close. "It's not too much."

"Are you sure?"

"Are you kidding me? I can't stand it when anyone else even looks at you. So I'm quite happy with you wrapped around me if that's what you need."

"You get jealous when people look at me?"

"You know I do, you saw me at the Venetian."

"I know, it's just nice to hear."

"Hmm, well, yes. I hate it when other people look at you."

"Why?" Lexa smiled coyly as she wrapped her arm back around Clarke's waist as they walked through the hotel floor towards the restaurant.

"Because I don't want to share."

"Share? So, am I yours now?"

Clarke turned abruptly down a small hallway and suddenly Lexa's back was against a wall and Clarke was leaning against it with one hand on either side of Lexa. She was a few inches from Lexa's face and her blue eyes were dark.

"You could be, if that's what you want."

She leaned forward and kissed Lexa's neck; starting near her collar bone she gently raked her teeth along her skin as she went, then swirled her tongue across the same places. The difference in sensations drove Lexa crazy.

"Oh my god...Clarke..."

She moved to wrap her arms around Clarke but Clarke had other ideas. She grabbed Lexa's wrists and pinned them to the wall.

"Hmm?" She hummed against Lexa's skin as she moved from her neck to her shoulder, sucking lightly on the skin there before moving to the other side of her neck, where she bit down gently on the pulse point.

"Fuck...that feels so good..." Lexa whined and arched her body towards Clarke. Clarke laughed softly and let go of Lexa's wrists. She moved her hands to Lexa's hips and then ran her hands up her sides under her shirt.

Lexa wrapped her hands around Clarke's shoulders and grabbed her shirt in her fists as Clarke moved up the side of her neck in soft, slow kisses. Lexa felt like her entire body was on fire.

"Clarke...please..."

"Please what Lexa?" Clarke murmured.

"I can't...think...function... when you're doing that."

"Do you want me to stop?

"Yes...I mean god no...but yes."

Clarke stopped and pulled away. She rested her forehead against Lexa's. The girls green eyes were dark, her pupils wide and her breathing ragged.

"That is what I want to do when anyone stares at you."

"Because you don't want to share."

"Yes."

"Well, you don't have to worry about it. I'm definitely yours."

Clarke's eyes widened and she stepped back from Lexa a little bit.

"Really?"

"Really. There's no one else I'm even remotely interested in."

Clarke smiled slowly and Lexa blushed and tried to look down at her feet but Clarke put her finger under her chin and stopped her.

"Thank you."

"Clarke...don't thank m-"

"Shhh. Just...thank you."

Lexa nodded and Clarke took her hand.

"Ready for dinner?"

"Yea..."

Lexa's heart was still racing and she could still feel everywhere that Clarke had kissed. She took a deep breath to steady herself then followed Clarke as she tugged on her hand.

"By the way, consider us even." Clarke smirked over her shoulder and Lexa's mouth fell open.

"You..."

"I keep my promises."

"Yes, you certainly do."

Clarke squeezed her hand as they walked up to the host desk at the restaurant.

"Clarke Griffin, reservations for two."

"Yes, Miss Griffin, right this way."

They were seated at a table in the back corner, away from the crowded part of the restaurant.

"So... how did you pull this off?" Lexa asked with a smile as she sat down across the table from Clarke.

"No idea what you're talking about."

"Clarke...the restaurant is crowded and we are at a table alone."

"Yes, we are."

"I said nothing expensive or extravagant..."

"And this is neither. It's not an over expensive restaurant. I just...paid for three tables."

"Clarke!"

"Lexa...I wanted to spend time with you. Not you and half the restaurant."

"I just...I don't want you spending this much money on me...I don't expect that."

Clarke smiled and reached across the table to squeeze Lexa's hand.

"If I thought you expected it, I'd never do it. Please just enjoy the night. Don't worry about what things cost, ok? It's my one rule. You got to make one, so should I."

"Okay...fine."

"Don't be mad about it."

"I'm not...I'm sorry...this is just...being treated like this is new for me. I have a hard time with it."

"Well, get used to it."

Lexa rolled her eyes but smiled anyways. Clarke let go of her hand as the waiter walked up to the table.

"Are you ladies ready to order?"

"I am, but she might need some more time."

"No, it's okay, I'll just have whatever she's having."

"Alright then, two pork chops please."

"Any wine or anything to drink?"

Clarke looked to Lexa, who shook her head.

"Water is fine, thank you."

The waiter left and Lexa looked around the restaurant, actually paying attention for the first time.

"I feel under dressed."

"You have on more clothes than I'd like."

Lexa's mouth fell open as she brought her eyes back to Clarke, expecting to see her laughing or trying to hold back a smile. Instead her blue eyes were dark and intense; Lexa felt her stare on every inch of her skin.

"Clarke Griffin you are going to be the death of me."

The look in Clarke's eyes softened and she smiled.

"Sorry, I'll stop. Too much?"

"Oh, I didn't say I didn't like it...just that you're going to be the death of me."

"Yea well, you might be the death of me too."

"So, you said dinner at the Monte Carlo was first. What's next?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Ugh, I hate surprises."

"You'll learn to love them."

"Apparently you're going to teach me a lot of new things."

"You're leaving that wide open for so many things."

"Maybe I meant to..."

Lexa arched one eyebrow and bit the corner of her bottom lip as she smirked at Clarke. It took all of Clarke's self-control not to pull Lexa across the table by her shirt and kiss her; it was going to be a long night.

* * *

After dinner Clarke and Lexa were walking through the Monte Carlo to the tram that connected the hotel to the Aria and the Bellagio. They were holding hands and Lexa would occasionally lean in to Clarke's side, like she couldn't get close enough.

"Dinner was amazing, everything was so good. Thank you."

"You're welcome. I go eat there every time I come to Vegas. Those pork chops are some of my favorite things ever."

"So where are we headed now?"

"The Bellagio."

"Is that the one with the fountains?"

"Yes. They are my favorite part of Vegas."

"They look awesome on TV."

"It does them no justice."

"I'm excited."

"Good, I'm glad. Our first date was...unexpected. I wanted tonight to be more special."

Lexa just smiled as they stepped into the tram and found a seat. She wanted to lean against Clarke but was worried she was being too clingy, despite Clarke's reassurances that she wasn't.

They sat down and Clarke glanced sideways at Lexa when she didn't lean against her like normal. Clarke scooted closer and leaned against Lexa's side. Lexa giggled and wrapped her arm around the blonde's waist. Clarke kissed her neck softly before resting her head on Lexa's shoulder.

"You were too far away." She muttered.

"I'm trying not to be super clingy, besides, this is a nice change." She ran her thumb over the skin on Clarke's side.

"Hmm, I suppose."

"I can move..."

"Don't even think about it."

"That's what I thought."

Lexa laughed and ran her fingers through Clarke's hair. Clarke made a noise that sounded like a hum in the back of her throat.

"You like it when people play with your hair?"

"Mhmm."

"Good to know."

Clarke shifted closer to Lexa and closed her eyes; it was the most content and relaxed she had felt in a long time. It wasn't long before the tram pulled up to the Bellagio and Clarke grumbled in protest.

"Come on, let's go." Lexa whined as she pushed Clarke with her shoulder.

"But you're comfy."

"I'll be comfy later too. Let's go see the fountains."

"The tram only goes back and forth, we can ride it again and get off next time."

"Claaarke..."

"Okay, Okay."

Clarke laughed as Lexa grabbed her hand and practically drug her off the tram. As soon as they were inside the Bellagio Lexa moved close to Clarke's side and wrapped her arm around her waist.

"Trying not be clingy, huh?"

"Eh, fuck it. I'm a clingy person."

"It's one of my favorite things about you."

"Really?"

"Yep. So many people are afraid to be affectionate or show how they feel. It's nice to be with someone who isn't."

 _With someone._ The words gave Lexa butterflies in her stomach. Is that what they were now? She had told Clarke she was hers, and she meant it. Lexa had never felt a connection to anyone the way she did with Clarke. It was intense, and easy at the same time; equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. She also realized she may very well be over thinking everything and Clarke just meant literally being with someone, in the physical sense.

"Hey, what are you thinking about? You're doing that thing where you aren't really here anymore."

"Nothing. I'm sorry."

"That was so not a nothing look."

"You're too observant."

"I know."

"When you said it's nice to be with someone who isn't afraid to be affectionate...it just made me smile to think of us as being together but I don't even know if that's what you meant and it's kinds stu-"

"That's exactly what I meant Lexa."

"So... I'm dating Clarke Griffin. There's something I never thought I'd say..."

"If you want to be, yes, you are."

"Why wouldn't I want to?" Lexa felt Clarke shrug as they walked.

"People will talk. They'll say nasty shit about you. They'll say nasty shit to you about me to try to cause trouble. You know how the drama is in the show world. I'm always a part of it, true or not, and I'd understand if you didn't want any of that."

Lexa was quiet for a while as they walked through the hotel. She hadn't let go of Clarke but she hadn't said anything either and Clarke's mind and heart were racing. What if what she'd been trying to say finally sank in and Lexa realized she was done?

Lexa could feel Clarke get tenser as they walked. She sighed; it wasn't a conversation she wanted to have as they walked through a crowded hotel.

"We're fine Clarke. I just...don't want to have this conversation here. But please just relax. I'm not going anywhere."

Clarke smiled as they turned the corner into the lobby. She stopped walking and Lexa pulled away from her, confused.

"Look up." Clarke said with a smile.

Lexa looked up and gasped. The ceiling of the lobby was covered in blown glass flowers in all different sizes, shapes and colors.

"Oh wow..."

"It's pretty impressive."

"It's gorgeous. Take a picture with me."

"Ugh, fine."

Clarke draped her arm around Lexa's shoulders as Lexa pulled her phone out to take the picture. As she swiped to unlock the screen, Clarke saw that her lock screen was the selfie they'd taken on the swings at the park where Lexa was kissing Clarke's cheek.

"Nice lock screen." Clarke teased.

"It's a good picture. Now smile."

Lexa held out her phone and tilted it so the flowers on the ceiling showed up in the picture. Clarke stuck her tongue out as she snapped the picture.

"Clarke! Come on."

"Okay, go."

Clarke smiled, but then kissed Lexa on the cheek as she took the picture.

"Send me that one."

"Only if you take a normal one."

"Fine. Go."

They both smiled and Lexa took the picture and sent Clarke the one she asked for. Clarke smirked as she set it as her lock screen.

"Now we match."

"Oh god, we're already _that_ couple?"

"Yea...I guess we are. Come on, let's go see the fountains."

They walked out to the front of the hotel and found a place to lean against the railing surrounding the lake the fountains were in. It didn't take long before the music started to play and the fountains started to dance. Clarke watched Lexa more than the watched the fountains and smiled as her eyes grew wide. After a few seconds she turned to Clarke with a huge smile on her face.

"They're awesome."

"Keep watching, it gets better."

Lexa turned her attention back to the fountains and Clarke moved behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her close. Lexa leaned into her embrace and rested her hands on top of Clarke's on her stomach.

They stood and watched until the end of the song, when the finale was the biggest fountain shooting up taller than the hotel itself.

When it was over Lexa turned in Clarke's arms to face her; her greens eyes bright.

"That was amazing. Thank you. Can we stay and watch them again?"

"We can come back. But we have somewhere else we have to be?"

"There's more?"

"Of course there's more."

"Clarke..."

"One rule Lexa."

"No...I was just going to say thank you. Tonight has been incredible. You are incredible."

Clarke blushed and looked down at her feet.

"I just...wanted to make sure you had fun. I know that... your day to day stuff doesn't make you happy. So, I just wanted to do something that did."

"Thank you." Lexa whispered, her voice cracking on tears she was barely holding back. A part of her was terrified that Clarke would hate her eventually once she found out about her past; Nia and Ontari took every opportunity to remind her that no one else would ever hire her if she left Azgeda if they knew everything about her. Ontari constantly told her it was why she would never have any friends or a relationship. Clarke was everything they both said she'd never have, and it constantly felt too good to be true.

Clarke reached out and tucked a piece of hair behind Lexa's ear, gently touching her cheek as she did.

"You're doing it again. That thing you do where you're not really here anymore." Clarke said quietly, her blue eyes clouded with concern.

Lexa stepped closer, wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist and tucked her head against Clarke's neck under her chin.

"I'm sorry. I'm here. There's nowhere else I'd rather be."

"Good. Let's get going then."

They walked hand in hand down the strip to the Paris hotel. Lexa looked around open mouthed at all the architecture. They walked inside and Clarke headed straight to the Eiffel Tower line.

"What are we doing?" Lexa asked as she followed along.

"Going to the top of the tower. The view is amazing."

"Oh how cool!"

Clarke smiled as she checked in.

"Ah, Miss Griffin. Everything is ready for you."

"Perfect, thank you very much."

Clarke took their tickets and headed towards the elevator.

"What is ready?" Lexa asked, poking Clarke in the side.

"You'll just have to wait and see."

They got in the elevator and Lexa impatiently squeezed Clarke's hand. Clarke laughed at her anxiousness.

The elevator opened and Lexa's mouth dropped open as she slowly walked to the edge of the viewing platform.

"Just push the call button when you're done Miss Griffin." The elevator operator said with a smile.

"Thank you."

Clarke walked over to where Lexa was standing and staring out over the Vegas skyline.

"Pretty cool huh?" Clarke said softly.

"Yes! It's stunning."

They slowly walked around the whole platform, looking at the view from all sides of the platform. Lexa smiled the whole time and Clarke pointed out certain landmarks and hotels. They had made it back around to where they started when Lexa looked around, then at Clarke.

"Why isn't anyone else up here? This should be packed... we're the only ones up here."

"Yes, we are."

"How did you manage that?"

"I may or may not have bought all of the tickets for this time slot."

Lexa pressed her lips together in a tight line and slowly shook her head. She was about to say something when she heard music coming up from the strip and Clarke grabbed her hand and pulled her to the fence.

"Come on, this is why we had to come up here."

Lexa looks down and gasped. The fountains at the Bellagio were dancing and she could see the whole thing from the top. Clarke smiled and wrapped her arm around Lexa's waist as they stood and watched the fountains dance again. The song came to an end and Lexa turned to face Clarke, her back against the fencing that ran around the viewing area. She pulled Clarke by her belt loops until they were inches apart.

"Clarke...I can't...I'll never be able to do anything like this for you."

"I don't care Lexa. That's not what tonight was about."

"How can I even start to thank you...or explain how much this means to me?"

"I can think of one way."

Clarke's voice was low, and when Lexa's eyes met hers the intensity in the took her breath away.

"W-what?" She stammered, her heart racing.

"You have no idea how bad I want to kiss you right now."

A slow smile spread across Lexa's face as she slid her hand behind Clarke's neck and pulled her closer.

"I think I can handle that."

She whispered just before their lips met. Lexa's kiss was soft and tentative, as if she were unsure that it was what Clarke really wanted.

Clarke's hands went to Lexa's hips and gently pulled her closer as she kissed her back. She could feel Lexa trembling so she let her set the pace, even though she had to hold herself back from kissing the girl so hard she couldn't breathe. Clarke pulled back so she could look at Lexa, but Lexa wrapped her fist in the front of Clarke's shirt and pressed her forehead into Clarke's.

"Don't you dare fucking stop." She whispered.

It was all the encouragement Clarke needed and she groaned as she kissed Lexa again, this time without holding back.

Lexa whimpered as Clarke pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, then moaned as their tongues met for the first time. Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke's shoulders, her fingers digging into her back.

Clarke only pulled back when the ache in her lungs reminder her that she needed air, and even then she didn't want to. She leaned down and kissed Lexa's neck, gently biting and sucking her way down to her collar bone.

"Clarke...fuck..."

Lexa moaned and Clarke decided that Lexa moaning her name was probably one of her favorite sounds ever. Lexa wrapped her hands in Clarke's hair, pulled her face away from her neck and kissed her again. It was soft and slow but at the same time possessive and needy. Lexa slowly untangled her fingers from Clarke's hair and ran her hands down her arms and let them come to a stop on Clarke's hips.

Clarke let herself get lost in Lexa, only pulling back when Lexa did. Lexa rested her forehead against Clarke's and smiled shyly.

"Wow..." she whispered.

"Yea...wow about covers it. You ok? You're still shaking."

"Yea, I'm fine. You're just... overwhelming. In the best way possible... but damn."

"I've been called a lot of things, but never overwhelming."

Lexa grinned and kissed Clarke briefly.

"It's a compliment. "She whispered as she pulled away.

"I know. Are you going to shake like that every time I kiss you?"

"That depends, are they all going to be like that?"

"They don't have to be."

She leaned forward and kissed Lexa again, their lips barely touching before she pulled back. Lexa moved with her, bringing her hand up to cup Clarke's face. The kiss was slow, lazy, and comfortable; liked they'd been together for years. Lexa ran her tongue across Clarke's bottom lip before pulling away.

Clarke whined in protest and Lexa smiled as she pressed a soft kiss into the skin just below her earlobe then worked her way slowly down the side of her neck. Her pace was agonizingly slow and Clarke let out a breathy moan as she dug her fingers into Lexa's shoulders.

"Shhhh."

Lexa shushed into her skin as she continued moving slowly along her neck. Her hands moved under Clarke's shirt and slowly up her sides, her thumbs tracing gently just under her bra line.

"God Lexa..."

Clarke moaned and put her hands on Lexa's shoulders, trying to pull her closer. Lexa smiled and put her hands on Clarke's wrists, pulling them off her shoulders and pinning them to Clarke's sides.

"Always so much control Clarke." She whispered, her lips barely leaving Clarke's neck.

"Lexa...please..."

"Please what?"

"I don't...know...god I can't... closer..."

Lexa smirked at how needy Clarke sounded.

"Closer?"

"Yes...you...closer..."

Clarke couldn't form coherent thoughts with what Lexa's tongue was doing on her skin. Lexa moved so she was behind Clarke and wrapped her arms around her waist, still pinning her hands to her sides. Clarke leaned back against her and sighed.

"Better?" Lexa asked quietly as she started kissing her neck again.

"Yes...but god damn..."

"Relax Clarke."

"Relax...with you doing that?"

"Mhmm." Lexa's mouth never really left Clarke's neck to answer; there was always something there. Tongue, lips, or teeth and all of them were almost agonizingly soft touches. Clarke wanted more.

"I can't."

"You can. Let go, just let me."

Clarke thought about it and Lexa was right; she always took control during anything physical with anyone. She took a deep breath and let herself relax into Lexa's arms.

Lexa smiled when she felt Clarke relax. She wasn't sure that she'd be able to. She heard the music for the fountains start again but paid no attention to them.

Clarke was surprised at how differently her body reacted to Lexa once she relaxed. Instead of craving more, everything felt warm and heavy. She stared out at the fountains, watching them but much more in tune to what Lexa was doing. She'd let go of Clarke's waist and her hands over her stomach, her fingers gently splayed out across her ribs. Clarke's hands were free, but she made no move to touch Lexa, she simply leaned her head back against the other girl and sighed.

"That feels...amazing."

"Good." Lexa murmured as she placed one last kiss on Clarke's neck. "You've made me feel amazing all night."

The fountains had stopped, but neither of them moved. Clarke covered Lexa's hand with her own and rubbed the back of it with her thumb.

"Thank you."

"You're thanking me?" Lexa laughed and Clarke turned to face her; her blue eyes serious.

"Yes, I am. You're incredible."

"Says the girl who paid for the entire top of the Eiffel Tower for me?"

"It has nothing to do with money Lexa."

"I know that Clarke...tonight has been unreal though."

"It has. We should probably head down though. I don't get this place to myself all night."

"I still can't believe you did all of this for me."

"Well, get used to it."

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke and buried her face against her neck. She didn't mind taking control sometimes, but nothing compared to what it felt like when Clarke held her.

Clarke kissed her forehead softly before pulling away and heading towards the elevator. The ride downstairs was quiet, with Lexa comfortably leaning on Clarke's side.

"Where to now?" She asked as they stepped off the elevator.

"Wherever you want. That's all I have planned."

"Can we go watch the fountains again?"

"Of course. They're my favorite too."

Lexa smiled and took Clarke's hand as they made their way out on to the strip and back to the front of the Bellagio. They found a seat on one of the benches and sat and waited for the next song to start.

Lexa tucked her feet up next to her and curled against Clarke's side.

"Who are you riding in the Grand Prix this weekend?" Lexa asked as Clarke wrapped one arm around her.

"Helios and Journey. The only other horse here is Arizona and she's not ready yet. I'll be riding her in some lower classes."

"You and Helios better kick Ontari's ass again."

"Isn't her mare off?"

"Yes but she has Reaper too."

"He's such a cool horse. He looks like a fun ride."

"He is. He'd go better for you than he does for Ontari."

"He probably goes really well for you too." Clarke nudged Lexa with her elbow.

"He's a good horse."

Clarke was about to comment on Lexa's riding ability when the song for the fountains started. Lexa stood up and grabbed Clarke's hand, pulling her to the railing to watch them from as close as possible. Clarke smiled and wrapped her arms around Lexa from behind, pulling her back against her chest as they watched the fountains dance to the music. The song was a slower, classical piece and Clarke found herself relaxing along with the music. As it ended, she leaned down and kissed Lexa's neck softly.

Lexa smiled and turned in Clarke's arm so she could kiss her.

"I could do this all night." She whispered as she pulled back from their kiss.

"Watch the fountains? Me too. I never get tired of them."

"I was referring to kissing you, but the fountains are a pretty close second."

Clarke blushed and looked down at the ground but couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"You're cute when you're shy." Lexa teased.

"Do you want to watch them again, or should we get going?"

"I want to watch them again, but we really should get going. It's getting late and it's always an early morning at the barn."

"True, and we still have to get back to the hotel. Do you want to leave from here? Or go back to the monte carlo? They have a pretty good cupcake place and a cool candy store."

"Well who am I to say no to cupcakes and candy?"

Clarke laughed and took her hand as they walked back into the Bellagio. They stopped and looked at the chocolate fountain before getting back on the tram to the Monte Carlo. Clarke curled up against Lexa's side on the tram again and sighed as Lexa ran her fingers through her hair.

"You know what's going to suck?" Lexa asked quietly.

"Hm?"

"When we aren't at shows and can't see each other this often."

"Yea…I thought about that too. We'll figure something out. Ontari and I show at a lot of the same shows."

"I know…. but this has been so perfect."

"It has."

"Do you think…we're moving too fast?"

Clarke sat up and turned to face Lexa, her blue eyes questioning.

"Do you? I'm sorry if I-"

"No. It has nothing to do with you. It's just…I don't know. We don't really know each other…"

"Lexa…if this is too much for you, please let me know now…"

"It's not that. It's…the way I feel about you…I've never felt this way about anyone before. We don't really know each other, but that's not how it feels. Everything just feels so…"

"Right? Easy? Comfortable? Scary as fuck? Too intense?"

Lexa's mouth fell open as she stared at Clarke and nodded slowly.

"Yea…all of that."

"Yes, it feels all of that, and it feels like it's all happening too fast, but at the same time, it feels like the easiest think I've ever done. If it's too much for you though, I understand. But just…please tell me now...if you want out, just say so."

"No. I don't. I just wasn't sure…or wanted to make sure you felt the same way."

"I do, and it's scary. But is anything really worth it if it doesn't scare the shit out of you sometimes?"

"I guess not. So…"

"We just see where it goes. Try not to question it too much."

"I just feel like it's too good to be true, ya know?"

"I do."

Lexa sighed as the tram came to a stop at the Monte Carlo. Her real fear was that Clarke was too good for her and would realize that eventually, but she couldn't say that part out loud.

"Hey." Clarke whispered, taking her hand. "If you don't want to do this…it's okay."

Lexa shook her head and pulled Clarke towards her, kissing her briefly before pulling back.

"I do. I just needed to know I wasn't the only one who felt those things I guess."

"You're not, but I'm in it if you are."

Lexa nodded and smiled slowly, pulling the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth as she did.

"Yea, I am."

"Good, because you freaked me out for a second there. Let's go get cupcakes."

Clark took Lexa's hand and they walked off the tram and through the hotel to the cupcake place. They shared a red velvet cupcake before heading to the candy store where they bought a ridiculous amount of candy just because they wanted to fill up plastic guitars.

Lexa curled against Clarke's side in the back of the cab on the way to their hotel.

"I'm sorry for the freak out moment I had in the tram. Tonight was just…so perfect-"

"Lexa, you have nothing to be sorry for."

Lexa nodded against Clarke's shoulder and decided to just let it go. All too soon they were being dropped off in the front of their hotel. They got out of the cab and Clarke moved away from Lexa.

"Tonight was amazing…I know I've said it a few times, but thank you."

"I'm glad you had a good time. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yea, I'll text you."

Clarke nodded and turned to leave when Lexa caught her wrist.

"You're not going to kiss me goodnight?" She whispered when Clarke turned to look at her.

"People from the barn are here…I thought you didn't want this getting back to Nia or Ontari."

"I don't care anymore."

"Well in that case, hell yes I'm going to kiss you goodnight."

Lexa smiled as Clarke pulled her close and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around Clarke's waist and pulled herself even closer, not wanting to let go. Clarke laughed into the kiss as she pulled back.

"Good Night Lexa…"

Lexa leaned forward and placed a chaste peck on Clarke's lips before letting her go.

"Good Night Clarke..."

Clarke turned and walked into the hotel, not bothering to keep the smile off of her face. As she got in the elevator her phone buzzed on her hip.

 **Raven** : How's it going?

 **Clarke** : Perfect. Just got back to the hotel.

 **Raven** : You know I'm going to want details. Did you finally kiss the girl?

 **Clarke** : You can have details tomorrow. Yes, I kissed her. At the top of the tower at Paris.

 **Raven** : Good lord Clarke, did you plan that?"

 **Clarke** : Of course I did. I mean, I planned the tower and was hoping for the kiss.

Raven: And?

 **Clarke** : I wasn't disappointed

 **Raven** : All bullshit aside, I'm happy for you Clarke

 **Clarke** : Thanks Rae. I'll tell you everything tomorrow. Have fun with Luna

 **Raven** : How did you know…nevermind. You always fucking know

Clarke laughed and tossed her phone on the nightstand as she walked in her room. She changed into pajamas and flopped into her bed. She picked up her phone to set her alarm and there was a text.

 **Lexa** : Coffee in the morning?

 **Clarke** : You can just come to say hi, you don't have to bring me coffee

 **Lexa** : You're saying no to coffee?

 **Clarke** : I'm saying I want to see you, regardless of coffee

 **Lexa** : see you in the morning :)

Clarke shook her head; it was ridiculous how much she liked the girl already. At least she knew Lexa felt the same way and they could be ridiculous together.

* * *

Lexa smiled and put her phone back in her pocket as she got off the elevator and headed towards her room. She felt ridiculous for wanting to see Clarke again already but at the same time she didn't care. She couldn't remember the last time she'd been so happy. Clarke made her feel differently than anyone she'd ever been around.

She opened and closed the hotel room door quietly as she slipped inside. She leaned back against the door and closed her eyes for a moment, smiling to herself and hanging on to the memories of the night before heading into the room.

"Where have you been?"

Nia's cold voice came from the couch across the room.

"Out with a friend."

"You don't have friends, and you never go out. Ontari said you were out last night also. Who have you been out with?"

"A friend."

"I know when you're lying Lexa. I know exactly who you've been out with. You've been going out with Clarke Griffin and it hasn't been as just friends."

Nia stood up and walked across the room so she was standing in front of Lexa.

"I will not have that trashy slut's name associated with Azgeda. You are not to see her again."

"Why does it matter who I see?"

"Because you are my niece. You work for me. You are associated with Azgeda, no matter how unfortunate that is. Anyone you are with will be as well and I will not have it be that whore."

"You can't tell me who I can and can't see Nia. I'm not a child."

"I can, and I will. If you continue to see her, I will no longer allow you to work for me. I will also make sure everyone else in the circuit knows who you really are, and no one else would be willing to hire you either and you know it."

Lexa cringed and fought hard to keep her tears in check as Nia continued.

"You are to text her and tell her that you've changed your mind. That you've realized who she really is and you don't want to have anything to do with her."

"I'll stop seeing her, but why do I have to say any of that."

"Because I said so. You'll do it now and show me the text before you send it."

"Nia…please. I'll stop seeing her. But there isn't a reason to make me say those things to her."

"Because she has caused enough trouble for this family over the years. I can't believe you would ever go out with her in the first place. But your loyalties have never been to me or this family, even when they should be. Go on, text her."

Lexa's hands shook as she pulled out her phone.

 _Clarke, I've been thinking about everything and I'm afraid I can't see you anymore. More of your reputation keeps coming to light and you aren't the kind of person I want to associate myself with._

She turned her phone screen so Nia could see it.

"Good, send it."

"Nia….please…."

"Send it Lexa. You'll get over her."

Lexa hit send and started at Nia, her eyes cold.

"Good. If I see you with her again, you're done. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes."

"Go to bed. It will be an early morning tomorrow."

Lexa kept her tears in check until she was in her bed, then she started sobbing so hard she thought she was going to throw up. She wanted to text Clarke and explain everything but she knew Nia would check her phone for quite some time.

She also knew it was no use fighting against her aunt. She could completely destroy her life if she wanted to. She had no choice but it didn't mean that she didn't feel like her heart was being ripped out of her chest; she had just totally destroyed the best thing she'd ever known.

She should have known better. She should have just stayed away from Clarke, and then none of this would be happening. She wouldn't have hurt the one person who had treated her like an actual person. Her sobbing eventually slowed, then stop and she felt herself go numb. Her mind just shut down and she finally drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Author's Note:

Don't hate me too much?

Reviews = love

Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

Clarke woke up and stretched, reaching for her phone and randomly hitting it until the alarm shut off. She smiled when she saw she already had a text from Lexa.

 **Lexa** : Clarke, I've been thinking about everything and I'm afraid I can't see you anymore. More of your reputation keeps coming to light and you aren't the kind of person I want to associate myself with.

Her heart felt like it stopped and she immediately felt like she was going to throw up. She checked the time stamp and saw it was not too long after the last text Lexa had sent her about coming in the morning. Her mind was reeling and she couldn't figure out what had gone wrong.

 **Clarke** : Lexa…if this is some kind of joke it isn't funny at all. Wtf?

She hit send and started pacing the room, telling herself not to cry, that there was something that she had over looked or there was some sort of mistake.

Ten minutes when by and Lexa hadn't replied.

 **Clarke** : Lexa…please…what the hell happened?

Clarke sat on the edge of her bed with her head in her hands and waited another twenty minutes then called Raven.

"Clarke? What's wrong? You never call."

"Rae…I can't….she…please come here."

"I'm at the door."

Clarke stumbled to the door of her room and opened it. Raven wrapped her arms around Clarke before even stepping inside the room and Clarke finally let herself fall apart. She sobbed into Raven's shoulder so hard she couldn't breathe.

"Hey..shhhh…what the hell happened Clarke? Everything was good last night."

Clarke just shoved her phone at Raven and started pacing the floor again in an effort to stop crying.

"This bitch. I'll kill her. I thought last night went well?"

"I thought so too. But she won't respond to me, which is unlike her."

"Tell me about last night."

"No…I can't…not now. It was so perfect, or at least I thought it was…."

"Clarke…there has to be a reason."

"She made it pretty clear what her reason is. I just thought she was different."

Raven could hear the cold edge in Clarke's voice and knew she was shutting down.

"Clarke...don't do this. Maybe you should go talk to her."

"And say what? Sorry I'm such a whore and you can't stand me? No. She clearly doesn't want to talk to me."

"Clarke…you know that's not true. Don't say shit like that about yourself."

"Why not? Everyone else does. Maybe I should just start living up to the rumors. It would be easier than this shit always happening."

"You're upset, and rightfully so, but…there has to be an explanation. Don't do this."

"I'm going to go ride. I'll see you at the barn."

Raven sighed. She knew once Clarke shut down there was no getting to her until she spiraled out of control and finally fell apart. She just hoped her friend didn't destroy herself too much in the process.

* * *

It was the first day of the show and Clarke hadn't heard from or seen Lexa in the days since she'd text that she didn't want to see her anymore. She had tried texting her a few times but got no reply and she hadn't seen her at the barn at all.

Clarke was in the warm up arena on her bay and white warmblood mare Arizona when she finally saw Lexa in another arena on Ontari's horse, Reaper.

"Griffin, focus!" Raven called when she noticed Clarke watching Lexa.

Clarke shook her head to clear her thoughts and pointed the mare at one of the warm up fences.

Her mind was not where it was supposed to be an Arizona hesitated, backing off before the jump. Clarke over corrected and the mare launched forward, pitching Clarke up onto her neck on the landing.

"Fuck, I'm sorry girl." Clarke muttered as she pet the mare's neck. She circled back and jumped the fence again, this time flawlessly. She rode over to the side of the arena where Raven was.

"Get your head in the game Clarke."

"She hasn't even come over to say anything…"

"I know, but you have a horse to ride. Don't think about her right now. You're up next and Arizona needs you to be focused. You look like shit, and I know you haven't been sleeping or eating much, but I also know you can pull it together and ride. I've seen you do it in worse shape than you are now."

"This fucking hurts Rae…"

"I know, but you can't right now, okay?"

Clarke nodded and collected her reins as her number was called. She rode into the arena at the trot and noticed Lexa standing at the rail as she rode in. A flash of anger tore through her and she wondered what made her think it was okay show up now. Lexa looked up and their eyes met for a second and the only thing that registered to Clarke was that Lexa looked so broken.

Lexa's heart broke when her eyes met Clarke's; her blue eyes were normally so bright and full of emotion, but they were cold and expressionless. She looked like she hadn't been sleeping at all. Lexa could understand, she hadn't been sleeping either. She longed to say something to Clarke, to explain that it wasn't her. That she'd never in a million years think that way about Clarke; but she was being watched and she couldn't, so she just stood quietly watching.

Raven walked up to the rail and stood next to Lexa.

"Why don't you fucking leave?" She said her voice low.

"I don't want to be here anymore than you want me here. It's where I've been told to be."

Lexa's voice was cold but there were tears in her eyes. Nia had told her to stand by the arena for Clarke's ride. She had done everything she could to get out of it, but Nia was watching her like a hawk.

She could tell Clarke wasn't herself. Her riding was stiff and jerky; not how she normally rode where she looked like she was an extension of the horse itself.

The bell rang and Clarke pointed Arizona at the first fence. She tried to push Lexa out of her head but all she could see where those dull green eyes.

Arizona cleared the first fence and Clarke briefly forgot where she was supposed to be going. She jerked the right rein just in time and they cleared the second fence but now Arizona was fighting with her. The mare preferred a really smooth ride and Clarke was not giving it to her. She fought to hold the mare back and their ride through the triple combination was rough.

"God dammit Clarke." Raven muttered

Lexa cringed as Clarke over corrected the mare for something and made her throw her head in the air and come to a screeching halt in front of the fence.

Clarke sighed and pet the mares neck. She put her hand on the brim of her helmet and nodded her head, indicating to the judge that she was dropping out of the class. It was something she hadn't done in years but she was in no condition to ride.

"This is your fucking fault." Raven muttered as Clarke walked out of the arena.

Lexa swallowed hard but didn't say anything as Raven walked away. There was nothing to say that would fix anything. Nia walked up beside her looking smug.

"Looks like you might be useful for once. If you keep affecting her like that, there is no way in hell she will win the Grand Prix."

Lexa ground her teeth together to keep herself from saying anything and headed back to her barn.

Clarke dismounted as soon as Raven took Arizona's reins. She patted the mare on the shoulder.

"I'm sorry girl, that was all me. I'm in no condition to ride."

"Clarke….I'm sorry."

"I'm going to go talk to her. I can't do this."

"Do you really think that is a good idea?"

"No, but I'm doing it anyhow."

Raven sighed as Clarke stormed off towards Azgeda's barn.

Clarke walked up to the Azgeda tack room to find Lexa sitting on a bale of hay outside.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She demanded as she walked up.

Lexa looked up in shock as Clarke stormed up to her; her blue eyes cold and full of anger. Lexa felt something inside her break and all she wanted was to wrap herself in Clarke's arms; a feeling she knew she'd never feel again.

"Clarke…you need to leave. I don't want to be seen with you."

Her voice was cold and spoke nothing of the war waging in her mind, or how much she wanted to just collapse into Clarke's arms and tell her everything.

Her words hit Clarke like a physical blow to the stomach and she stopped short.

"Fuck you Lexa. I thought you were different. I should have known better I guess."

She turned on her heel and walked away without looking back. Had she looked back she would have seen Lexa collapse onto the hay bale with tears rolling down her face.

* * *

Later that evening Lexa was finishing up cleaning stalls and feeding horses; she was coming out of the tack room to lock up when all of a sudden something connected with the left side of her face and knocked her to her knees. She clutched the side of her face and looked up to see Raven standing in front of her.

"You're lucky I don't kick you while you're down there you fucking bitch."

She practically spit the words at Lexa.

"Go ahead." Lexa muttered, not bothering to get up.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you have any idea how much you've hurt her? And then to come watch her ride. Why? Just to fuck with her head?"

"Raven…I'm sorry…"

"You're sorry? No. You don't get to be sorry. Sorry doesn't fix this. Nothing fixes this. What kind of sick joy do you get from this?"

"I…just go…"

"Stay away from the ring while she rides, understand? If I see you near one again, you'll have more than a bruised face to deal with."

Raven turned and stormed off. Lexa sat on the ground for a second before getting up and brushing herself off. She mindlessly locked the tack room before heading back to the hotel room.

She didn't bother looking in the mirror or changing before collapsing in the bed. She curled into the fetal position and finally let the tears come. The sobs shook her whole body and it wasn't long before she ran to the bathroom and threw up in the toilet until there was nothing left and she just stood there dry heaving. She slid down the wall and just sat on the floor near the toilet.

She couldn't get Clarke's eyes out of her mind and how cold and distant they'd looked. She'd never seen them that way and it was killing her to know that she was the reason.

* * *

Clarke lay in her bed staring at the ceiling when Raven walked in.

"Luna and I are going out. You should come. Get your mind off of things."

"Thanks Rae, but no."

Raven sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Clarke…don't let her do this to you…please."

"I'm fine Raven, I just don't want to go anywhere okay? Go, have fun."

Clarke turned to face the wall and heard Raven sigh, then felt her get up and leave. It wasn't until she was sure she was alone that she let the tears fall. They rolled silently down her face as she ran every single moment with Lexa over in her mind trying to figure out what she'd done wrong. She did it over and over again until exhaustion set in and she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Lexa was still sitting on the bathroom floor when Ontari got back to the hotel room.

"My god you are pathetic. You really think Clarke Griffin was going to stay with you anyhow? My mom did you a favor. This was bound to happen eventually. And with the way things are going now, Reaper and I are pretty much set to win the Grand Prix so maybe you'll finally be useful."

Lexa didn't say a word to Ontari, just stood up and walked back to her bed. She looked at her phone to see what time it was and was shocked to see it was after midnight. She had no idea how long she'd been on the bathroom floor.

She cringed at the picture of her and Clarke that was still her lock screen; she couldn't bring herself to change it. They both looked so happy. They had both been so happy. Lexa had never been as happy as she'd been when she was with Clarke.

Ontari walked out of the bathroom and laughed again at Lexa.

"Ontari, can't you just shut up." Lexa huffed, exhausted.

"I enjoy your misery though Lexa, you know that." There was a teasing tone in her voice, but Lexa knew it was the truth and something inside her snapped. She was done.

She stood up and headed for the door.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To do what I should have done a long time ago."

"If you're going to see Clarke it's a mistake. It will cost you your job."

"Some things are worth more than this stupid fucking job."

* * *

After some convincing at the front desk, Lexa had gotten Clarke's hotel room number from the front desk clerk by pretending to be her girlfriend there with a surprise for their anniversary.

She stood outside the room for at least five minutes before gathering the courage to knock. She knocked several times and was about to give up when the door slowly opened.

Clarke looked like shit; her hair was a mess and her eyes were bloodshot and swollen from crying.

"What the fuck do you want? Someone might see you with me ya know."

"I…I know I don't deserve for you to listen to me but Clarke…please…"

"What makes you think I'm interested in what you have to say?"

"You probably aren't….but I had to try. This is killing me Clarke…please…just give me five minutes."

"It's killing you? So what, you want time to talk to me to make yourself feel better?"

"No…I deserve all of this but you don't…you didn't deserve any of it and…the look in your eyes is killing me. Clarke….please…."

Clarke stared at her for a minute before turning away from the door and walking inside the room. Lexa followed and shut the door behind her.

"Start talking."

"Nia was waiting up for me when I got home from our date that night. She knew I had been with you and she was pissed. She said she didn't want Azgeda's name associated with you and your reputation.

She told me I wasn't allowed to see you anymore or she would fire me and make sure I wouldn't be allowed to work anywhere else either. Then she made me send that text…."

"How does someone make you send a text?"

"She told me what to say and stood there until I sent it. And I know that shouldn't matter, I should have said no or at least found a time to explain this to you before, but I was so scared of her. I've always been scared of her and what she's going to tell everyone about me some day when I piss her off enough."

"So what's different now?"

"You. I can't let my fear of her do this to you. I…care too much. I don't think any of those things about you Clarke…I think you're amazing and I don't deserve you. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I'm not even asking for it. I just…I needed to tell you the truth."

"And why do you think I'm going to believe you now?"

"I knew you'd say that, and I don't know if this is going to be good enough, but it's the only thing I can do."

Lexa pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed Nia's number and put the phone on speaker. She picked up on the second ring and Clarke knew without a doubt that the voice on the other end was Nia's.

"Where the hell are you Lexa? And who the fuck do you think you are?"

"I came to tell Clarke the truth Nia. About the fact that you made me send her that text."

"Do you think this is a game little girl? I told you I don't want you around that slut dragging my barn's name down with you. Do you think I won't fire you? Because I will."

"I don't care Nia, I quit. Some things are worth more than a job."

Lexa pushed the end button before Nia had a chance to reply and Clarke's mouth dropped open.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I don't care. Nothing is worth what I did to you. And for what it's worth…I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to stand up to her before I fucked everything up by sending that text. I'm just…sorry."

"You didn't mean what you said in that text?" Clarke's voice was barely above a whisper.

"No…god no. Not at all…it killed me to send it. It still kills me to think about it and the fact that I was so fucking weak that I couldn't stand up to her. I'll never forgive myself for sending that to you Clarke…"

"Even if I do?"

Lexa had been staring everywhere but at Clarke as she spoke but now her eyes sought out Clarke's and found them sincere and brimming with tears.

"What?"

"Can you forgive yourself for sending it if I forgive you?"

"I…don't know."

"Well, maybe you can try…because it's a lot to carry shit like that around."

Lexa nodded and stood up to leave when she felt Clarke's hand around her wrist. She turned around to find the blonde standing a few inches away.

"Don't go." Clarke whispered and pulled Lexa into her arms.

Lexa crashed into Clarke, shaking as sobs ripped through her body.

"I'm sorry….I'm so sorry…"

She muttered into Clarke's neck as she pressed herself as close as possible. Clarke wrapped her arms around Lexa, her nails digging into the back of her shoulders.

"God I fucking missed you…you were killing me…"

"I know…I was killing me too…I can't…god I thought I'd never feel this again. I'm so stupid…so fucking stupid."

"Yea you are."

"I'm sorry…"

"I know you are."

"Thank you…for listening."

"Thank you for coming…I know how controlling Nia and Ontari are over you. I had no idea it was to this extent though…I know how hard it was for you to come."

"Once I pulled my head out of my ass it was the easiest choice I've ever made. I couldn't do this to you."

Clarke loosened her hold on Lexa to step back, but Lexa clung to her tighter.

"Please don't…"

"Lexa…look at me…"

Lexa let go enough to lean back and look at Clarke.

"Oh my god, what happened to your eye? Was that Ontari? I'll kill her…"

Clarke gently ran her fingers over Lexa's left cheek; her eye was swollen, black and blue. She'd been so mad when Lexa came in that she hadn't even noticed.

"No…not Ontari…it was Raven. And she had every right to do it."

"Raven…hit you?"

"Yea, she did. I'm lucky it's all she did. I deserved a hell of a lot more."

"I can't believe…actually yes I can. Let me get ice for you."

Lexa wrapped her fist in Clarke's shirt.

"Lexa, you have to let go of me at some point."

"I…never thought I'd be here again..."

"I'm just getting ice, I'll be right back."

Clarke peeled herself out of Lexa's arms and headed down the hall to the ice machine. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and text Raven.

 **Clarke** : You hit her?

 **Raven** : Fuck yes I hit her. She's lucky I didn't kill her. No one treats my best friend like that and gets away with it. If she ends up at the arena when you ride again I will hunt her down….wait…how do you know I hit her?

 **Clarke** : I love you Raven. I don't think I tell you that enough. And she came to my room and explained everything. I'm getting ice for her face. You hit her pretty hard.

 **Raven** : Do I need to come do it again?

 **Clarke** : No. It wasn't even her. It was all Nia. I'll explain it later. Thank you

 **Raven** : For hitting her?

 **Clarke** : lol yes, but not literally. For caring enough about me to hit her.

 **Raven** : Any time

Clarke slipped her phone back in her pocket as she filled the ice bucket with ice and headed back to the room. Lexa was sitting on her bed when she walked back in and she looked so broken. The tears had started again and her whole body shook with the sobs. Clarke sighed; the past few days had been some of the hardest she'd been through recently. Thinking that Lexa hadn't meant any of the things she'd said on their dates and had ended up hating her had about broke her. Knowing it wasn't true felt like and enormous weight had been lift off of her chest, and knowing that she meant enough to Lexa for Lexa to walk away from Ontari and Nia meant everything.

"Hey…where is this coming from?" She whispered as she sat down next to Lexa and wrapped her arms around her.

"I'm so fucking stupid…I'm sorry…"

"Lexa…please stop."

"Why are you comforting me? I fucked everything up…I don't deserve this…"

Lexa tried to pull away from Clarke but Clarke wouldn't let her go.

"Yes, you fucked up. But everyone fucks up. You know what else you did? You made it right. I know how scary it was for you to leave Azgeda. You haven't told me what the deal is between you, Nia and Ontari, but what little I do know, I know they have some sort of control over you. I know you're terrified of them and what they can do to you…and you chose me over all of that."

"I had to…I couldn't…you looked so broken and it was because of me and I couldn't live with myself."

"You didn't have to. You could have walked away. You said it the other night; we don't know each other that well. This has all been really intense…you could have just left. But you didn't. You chose me. I can't even explain to you how much that means to me…"

Clarke's voice cracked as she started crying. Lexa reached up and wiped the tears off her face.

"Please don't cry."

"I think we've both done enough crying over the past few days to last quite a while."

"I agree."

Clarke let go of Lexa and got a towel from the bathroom. She wrapped some ice in it and handed it to Lexa.

"Hold that on your face. I'd say I'm sorry that Raven hit you…but I don't know that I am."

Lexa laughed for the first time in days.

"I'm not even sorry she hit me. I deserved it. So…where do we go from here?"

"We'll figure it out tomorrow. I don't know about you, I'm exhausted."

"Me too…I'll leave so you can sleep."

"Leave? Where are you going? I don't think Nia is going to let you back in their room."

"I…hadn't thought about it. I'll figure something out."

"Just…stay here."

"Clarke…you don't need to do that."

"I know, but there are two beds and its 2am and it's stupid for you to figure something out. The hotel is pretty booked; you'd probably have to stay somewhere else. Just stay. We'll figure things out tomorrow."

"Thank you."

Clarke nodded and walked into the bathroom. She splashed water on her face and looked in the mirror for the first time in days as she dried her face off. She cringed at her reflection; she looked horrible.

When she went back into the room Lexa was already laying down; she was curled in a ball on her side facing the wall and Clarke could tell by the way her body was shaking that she was crying again. She sighed and started to get in her bed, too tired to deal with anything else but the strangled noises coming from Lexa tore at her heart; and if she were being honest she didn't want to be alone.

She crawled in to bed behind Lexa and pressed herself against the other girls back, wrapping her arm around Lexa's waist and pulling her close.

"Is this okay?" She whispered, leaning her head against the back of Lexa's shoulder.

"Y-yes."

"Good, now go to sleep."

She pressed a kiss on Lexa's shoulder, and one on her neck, then whispered in her ear.

"I'm right here, you're okay, just go to sleep."

Lexa turned over so she was facing Clarke and buried her face in Clarke's neck, pressing herself as close as possible. Clarke shifted and wrapped her arms around Lexa's shoulders.

"Better?"

She felt Lexa nod against her chest. She ran her hand gently up and down Lexa's back until she felt the other girls breathing level out as she drifted off to sleep. Once she was sure she was asleep Clarke let the tears come. She cried quietly so she didn't wake Lexa up. She was tired of crying, but at least these tears were tears of relief, not anguish. She had an idea of how they could work everything out, she just wasn't sure Lexa would go for it. No matter what happened, the fact that Lexa had chosen her kept replaying in her mind and she knew they would figure something out.

* * *

Clarke's eyes fluttered open slowly, squinting at the stream of sunlight hitting her face; she glared angrily at the two inch gap between the curtains where the light was coming in and shifted so it wasn't hitting her in the face anymore.

Lexa's arm tightened around her waist as she snuggled closer to Clarke in her sleep. Clarke smiled; Lexa hadn't let go of her all night and she didn't mind at all. She turned in her arms so she was facing Lexa and ran her thumb lightly over the bruise on her face; Raven must have been really mad to hit her that hard.

Lexa mumbled something and draped her leg over Clarke's.

"Hey, time to get up. It's almost noon."

Clarke whispered as she ran her fingers through Lexa's hair.

"Mhmm, don't wanna." Lexa mumbled.

"So...we're just going to stay in bed all day?"

"Okay." Lexa scooted impossibly closer and pressed her face into Clarke's neck.

She sighed and her breath on Clarke's skin gave her goosebumps.

"I was being sarcastic Lexa."

"Ugh. I wasn't."

"You're also half asleep."

"Maybe."

Lexa smiled and finally opened her eyes. She scooted back so she could look at Clarke.

"You're still here."

"Of course I am, where else would I go?"

"Away from me?"

"Lexa...if I wanted away from you would I have asked you to stay? And then ended up in the same bed with you clinging to me like a spider money all night?"

"A spider monkey? Did you just call me a spider monkey?"

"Well..." Clarke glanced down at the lack of space between them and the fact that Lexa was draped halfway across her body.

"If you're going to compare me to a clingy animal, I'd prefer to be called a koala."

"I could have called you a leech. Or a vampire bat. Or-"

"All of a sudden I'm okay with spider monkey. Though I'm still mildly offended. And no longer want to cling."

She rolled onto her back and was shocked when Clarke moved with her, moving over her body so she was straddling her hips and looking down at her.

"That's such a lie. And besides, you're my spider monkey."

Clarke leaned down and her lips met Lexa's in a long, slow kiss. Lexa sighed and wrapped her arms around Clarke, pulling her closer. Clarke pulled back from the kiss and went to move off of Lexa.

"No, don't."

"Lexa...I'm not laying on you."

Lexa pokes her lower lip out in a pout and tugged on the front of Clarke's shirt. Clarke huffed and shifted her position so her legs were both on one side of Lexa and laid her upper body on Lexa's, her head resting on Lexa's chest.

Lexa smiled and ran the fingers of one hand through Clarke's hair, her other arm draped across her lower back. Clarke closed her eyes and sighed; content for the first time in days.

"Maybe this isn't so bad."

She felt Lexa's laugh in her chest and then felt herself start to drift off to sleep as Lexa played with her hair.

* * *

A few hours later Lexa gently shook Clarke to wake her up.

"Clarke...Raven has text you like eight times and I'm pretty sure if you don't reply she's going to show up at the door."

"Tell her to fuck off." Clarke mumbled, half asleep as she softly kissed Lexa's neck.

"I'm probably not the right person to tell Raven to fuck off. Our last encounter didn't end well for my face. I also don't have her number. Your phone kept vibrating and I looked at the screen to make sure it wasn't a call or something."

"It's fine. Hand me my phone?"

Lexa handed Clarke her phone and Clarke held it out and took a picture of herself draped across Lexa.

"Oh god, don't send that to her!" Lexa whined. Clarke read Raven's messages.

 **Raven** : I'll feed, you sleep. God knows you need it.

 **Raven** : Horses are fed. I'll work Helios and Journey. Assuming you're still asleep.

 **Raven** : you could at least say thank you

 **Raven** : Griffin you're an asshole

 **Raven** : thank god you aren't showing today, clearly you would have missed classes

 **Raven** : the makeup sex must be amazing, or it better be since you're ignoring me

 **Raven** : Clarke seriously. Have you died? Do I need to come hit Lexa again?

 **Raven** : text me back you bitch

Clarke laughed and typed a text and attached the picture

 **Clarke** : I'm comfy, go away

 **Raven** : YOU'RE ALIVE and wearing too much clothing for make up sex. You ok?

 **Clarke** : yes. Thank you for taking care of the horses. I'll get nighttime feedings.

 **Raven** : are you and Lexa ok?

 **Clarke** : we will be. I'm going to offer her a job. I need someone since you're leaving and she quit with Azgeda

 **Raven** : oh shit. Did she stay with you last night

 **Clarke** : yes

 **Raven** : Damn Clarke, you really care for her.

 **Clarke** : I do. And it's moving crazy fast but...I don't care. I'm not pushing this one away.

 **Raven** : Good. Aside from her little issue recently, I think she's good for you.

 **Clarke** : that wasn't her. I'll tell you in person, but she's completely beating herself up for it.

 **Raven** : well, hopefully she takes your offer. I'll check in with you later

 **Clarke** : thanks Rae

Clarke tossed her phone back on the nightstand and raised herself up on one elbow to look at Lexa.

"Sorry I fell asleep on you."

"It's okay, I kinda like you there."

"Only kinda?"

"Maybe more than kinda..."

"Maybe? Well fine then."

Clarke teased as she moved away from Lexa and rolled onto her back on the other side of the bed.

"You know it's more than kinda, you asshole."

Lexa laughed as she moved with Clarke, pressing into her side.

"Prove it."

Lexa raised one eyebrow and ran her hand up the middle of Clarke's stomach, her nails raking gently across the skin under her shirt. She leaned forward and ran her tongue along the side of Clarke's neck, biting softly a few times. Clarke's whole body shuddered when Lexa's lips finally met hers.

"Damn..." she moaned when Lexa pulled back from the kiss. Lexa blushed and tucked her face into Clarke's neck.

"If you don't know how much I like you, I'm doing something wrong." She whispered.

"No...you're definitely doing things right."

"Except when I totally fuck things up."

Lexa pulled away from Clarke, fighting hard to keep her tears in check. How could she have let herself forgotten even for a second how much she had screwed up in the last few days? How much she'd hurt Clarke? She didn't deserve to be so happy with Clarke; she didn't deserve Clarke at all.

"Hey...where the hell did that come from Lexa?"

Clarke reached for her but Lexa pushed her hand away and turned to face the wall.

"I'm sorry...I don't know how I let myself forget how bad I messed things up."

"No. You don't get to do this Lexa. I'm not Nia, I'm not Ontari. You don't get to just endlessly blame yourself for things. So you have two choices: you sit up and we talk about this or you get the fuck out of my hotel room because I am not going to let you destroy yourself in front of me."

Lexa was shocked at the harsh tone in Clarke's voice. She'd never heard it before. Part of her wanted to just leave, she knew Clarke would be better off without her. The other part of her never wanted to leave.

She turned over to find Clarke sitting up leaning against the headboard; her blue eyes were dark and angry.

"You're mad." Lexa said softly as she moved to sit next to her.

"Yes, I am...but not at you."

"Why?"

"Can you promise to really listen to what I'm going to say to you? And not shut down and go to that place you go to where you're not really here?"

"I promise I'll try."

"When you sent that text it was horrible. I won't lie. Nothing has hurt like that in a long time. I felt physically sick when I read it."

"Clarke...I..."

"Shhh. Just listen."

Lexa nodded, tears rolling down her face.

"You were the first person in a long time that had bothered to get to know me as a person. You weren't just interested in me because you'd heard I was easy to get in bed. So when you sent that text and I thought I was wrong, again, it killed me.

And then at the barn when you said you didn't want to be seen with me...that was almost worse because it was in person.

And then you showed up at my hotel room, completely devastated about what you'd done when it wasn't even really you that had done it. You sent the text, but you didn't mean it. It wasn't you that said it. You let someone who has controlled you for a long time continue to control you...until you didn't. You chose me over someone you've been terrified of.

You haven't told me the whole story of what went on between you, Nia, and Ontari, but you were so terrified the morning we left for Vegas...you chose me over that level of fear.

So...when I look at you...I don't see the girl who sent that text. I see the girl who chose me. Who chose me over someone who has been controlling her for a long time. Who chose to uproot her entire life for me without even knowing what my response would be. I see the girl who always wants to be as close to me as possible. Who looks at me sometimes like I've hung the stars in the sky. Who tells me I'm amazing. I see one of the few people who wants to know me for me.

So if all you can see when you look at yourself is the girl who was forced to send that text...then this will never work, because I see so much more than that...and I can't let you see anything less."

Clarke had purposely been not looking at Lexa as she spoke because she knew the other girl would be crying and she wouldn't have been able to finish her train of thought.

Lexa stared at Clarke with her mouth open, and tears running down her face. She couldn't think of a single thing to say.

"Did I break you?" Clarke whispered as she reached for Lexa's hand.

"Maybe..." Lexa managed to choke out through her tears. "Clarke...I don't even know what to say."

"Say you'll forgive yourself."

"I don't know...if I know how..."

"Then say you'll try. Because I won't let you constantly beat yourself up over it. I can't."

"Clarke..."

"No Lexa. Whatever line of shit they've been feeding you about what a horrible person you are is shit. I won't let you keep doing that to yourself."

Clarke clenched her hands into fists at her side. She knew she couldn't change Lexa's opinion of herself overnight, but she also knew she couldn't handle the girl constantly tearing herself apart over one mistake.

"Clarke...please don't be mad at me..."

"I'm not mad at you Lexa. I just...want you to stop beating yourself up. Or at least try. I can't...watch you do this to yourself over something you did to me that wasn't even you. I know it wasn't you."

Lexa pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. She'd been told for so long that she was so worthless that she was having a hard time hearing what Clarke was saying to her. She didn't understand why Clarke cared so much.

Clarke ached to reach out and hold Lexa and make her stop crying. She knew she could do it. But she also knew Lexa had to make a choice for herself.

"I'll try..." Lexa whispered.

"Thank you."

Clarke reached for her and Lexa collapsed into her arms sobbing. Clarke just held her, running her fingers through her hair and over her arms until her crying finally slowed to a stop.

"Better?" Clarke whispered into Lexa's hair.

"Yes. Thank you."

"Thank you...for choosing yourself...and us...over all that shit in your head."

"You're the only thing that has made any sense in so long...maybe you're right about me."

Clarke smiled and kissed the top of Lexa's head. She wanted to have the conversation about what Lexa was going to do for a job and offer her Raven's position, but she also wanted just a few minutes of peace between the two of them before they had what she was sure was going to be another emotional conversation.


End file.
